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What will happen if I eat bioluminescent bacteria?

I am wondering what will happen if I eat a load of bioluminescent bacteria. Will they establish a colony in my gut? Will we have a symbiotic relationship? Will they make my poo glow brightly? I may well be able to use my bum as a torch as well, which would be really handy. Whenever I was stuck in the dark, I would just pull down my trousers and a beam of glorious bumlight would help me find my way.

I found these instructions on growing my own colony of bioluminescent bacteria:


I just need:

750 ml seawater
250 ml water
5 g peptone
3 g yeast extract
3 ml glycerol
15g agar

It does say not to eat them, but this is just because of contaminants. Presumably if I carefully picked out the bioluminescent bacteria and threw the other ones back it would be ok.

I could do amazing art! I could poo artily on a large canvas at night and then I would totally be an artist. Or maybe I could find a way to get glowing fingers or something. Squids and stuff have set up these bacteria to give them glowing tentacles and that kind of thing, and I'm LOADS cleverer than a squid, so how hard can it be? I reckon if I eat the bacteria and then just think really hard about them going to my fingers, and maybe do some special finger flexes, that might get them there. They could establish colonies in my fingers and then that would be TOTALLY COOL. I'd be a massive hit at raves - I wouldn't need glowsticks - my fingers would be like natural glowsticks all on their own.

Yep, I reckon I should totally give it a go.