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Atop an Inca pyramid in the Peruvian Amazon the Crab of Eternal Wisdom ponders the nature of existence with his horde of fanatical followers

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Tuesday, June 27, 2000

Artificial Intelligence

Talking to Alice the chat robot is almost indistinguishable from talking to a real woman. I talked to her about what I like:

I like to throw stones
I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
It's fun
Why do you like it so much?
I like it when things break
What does "it" refer to?
"it" refers to anything alive
Oh I get it.

You see? Just like a real woman.
posted by Joel Veitch 6/27/2000 3:36:24 PM

Frog Rock

The Frog Rock is great. It's a hollowed out rock, but much more too:

"After dark, the Frog Rock sometimes reproduces the call of a pond frog, and sometimes reproduces the calls of field crickets"
posted by Joel Veitch 6/27/2000 1:22:56 PM

Psycho Fish Death Mayhem

You need to know this.
posted by Joel Veitch 6/27/2000 1:17:53 PM

Penguin Fun

I like Pokey the Penguin.

I like this strip particularly, though they are all very good.
posted by Joel Veitch 6/27/2000 1:14:07 PM

Big Egg

Thank the lord, somebody has finally invented the Ostrich Egg Hummingbird Feeder.

Quote:

"You will truly be enchanted as you watch the world's smallest bird sipping nectar from the egg of the world's largest bird. It's quite a sight!"

I'm sure it is.

I sent them a little note:

If I was to get one, what would I do when the hummingbirds have eaten all the ostrich eggs. Should I just get more from you? Should I cook them, or do you do that, or do the hummingbirds like them raw?

Thanks

Joel

I never knew hummingbirds ate ostriches. Good on them. They must be harder than they look.
posted by Joel Veitch 6/27/2000 9:31:34 AM

Monday, June 26, 2000

Sex for Hits

According to Walter's Mission he will get to have sex if he gets 1 million hits. You never know, it may even be real. I reckon that it's worth supporting him on the offchance.

If anyone would like to have sex with me please send offers to iwouldliketohavesexwithjoel@rathergood.com
posted by Joel Veitch 6/26/2000 1:04:26 PM

Elephantisis

There are a couple of nice pics of elephantisis sufferers at Filariasis Pictures, and also a useful little diagram of the lifecycle of the parastic little buggers who cause it.

Please be aware that, in the interests of good taste, there are no scrotal afflictions.
posted by Joel Veitch 6/26/2000 12:49:48 PM

Sunday, June 25, 2000

Fear the Cube Lunatics

I am very scared of the Time Cube

quote:

Time Cube exposes evil.
Cubelessness is an Evil.
Educators are teaching
you Evil Cubelessness.
posted by Joel Veitch 6/25/2000 1:20:57 PM

Ham Licence

Oh lordy, I've just realised that I don't have a Ham Licence! I have lodged my application with the Ham Authority.

I suggest you check the legality of your pork produce.
posted by Joel Veitch 6/25/2000 1:06:03 PM

Boring Business Systems

Boring Business Systems has a lovely photo of its president, A. Dean Boring, on its site.

I would like to work for Mr Boring, in his Boring company.
posted by Joel Veitch 6/25/2000 11:32:14 AM