Gallery Update
After another long session of deliberation, the panel of judges for submissions to the Crab Palette Gallery have decided to grant two more pieces inclusion into this showcase of artistic excellence.
"Flying Goat and Exploding Volcano" by Mr Keith Duncan, and "Fear The Crabz" by Mr Zach Garland, are now being proudly displayed for your appreciation.
Think you can do better? Feel free to make your own pictures with the revolutionary Crab Palette technology, and send them to the panel for consideration.
posted by Joel Veitch
7/29/2000 11:29:37 AM
Star Signs
I'm bored of being an aries, so it is fortunate that pythonline has the facility to change your star-sign to something more interesting.
I am now a spam. Which is better I think.
posted by Joel Veitch
7/29/2000 09:12:04 AM
Hovering
As you may know, I can levitate (details of my technique here).
For those of you that can't, you may want one of these.
I will have one in my garage, next to my skycar, just as soon as they are available.
Bees, of course, do a lot of hovering. However, with their compound eyes, the world looks rather different to them. Luckily, you can now see what the world looks like to a bee thanks to the revolutionary B-Eye technology.
Thank god.
If you have compound eyes like a bee and would like to tell the world, I would like to hear your story.
posted by Joel Veitch
7/28/2000 05:18:44 PM
Woo for Yahoo
Yahoo now use google's search engine, which means that instead of being shit, it is now good.
I thought I would see where rathergood.com ranks on a couple of relevant searches, and was pleased to find that it ranked as number 1 when searching for "arse rage"
I'm very pleased about this, for obvious reasons. Rathergood.com comes in at number 2 for "shark mayhem" which is also good, but I was somewhat disappointed to find that a search for "Peruvian crab" ranked it only as number 5, beaten by the opportunity to buy a brooch from the Peruvian Coast crab collection.
If you have found this site through an unlikely search on the new not-shit yahoo, I would be interested to hear from you.
posted by Joel Veitch
7/28/2000 12:22:44 PM
String Theory
Cawker City, Kansas, has the world's largest ball of twine, containing over 6,000,000 feet of string.
In their own words:
"Passing through Cawker City? Stop by. Check out our Ball of Twine. Who knows? Maybe you'll be impressed."
Yes, maybe.
Or maybe not.
posted by Joel Veitch
7/28/2000 11:37:16 AM
Monster Sperm
Why does a fruit fly smaller than a tomato seed need a whopping sperm 6 centimetres long?
Find out at the New Scientist
This fly's sperm is 20 times longer than its body, and its testes take up half of its abdominal cavity.
Sounds a bit like me actually.
If you have enormous sperm that are 20 times the length of your body and would like to tell the world, send me your story.
posted by Joel Veitch
7/28/2000 11:24:09 AM
Mullet Mayhem
Like Mullets? Then you'll love Mullets Galore!
There's a particularly good Porn Mullets bit.
Very classy.
Send him your favourite Porn Mullets today!
posted by Joel Veitch
7/5/2000 11:21:34 PM
Clouds At Night
Like clouds? Then you'll love Oscar Van Der Velde's Noctilucent Clouds!
Representative quote:
Damn I missed beautiful noctilucent clouds last night because of stratocumulus!!!!
At 3 a.m. it was clear again but no NLC! That is NOT fair!
Please write something in my guestbook that can cheer me up again...
Lovely pictures.
posted by Joel Veitch
7/5/2000 11:16:30 PM
Funny Stuff For Sale
It has been pointed out to me that there is another supply of dead frog purses at Bluesnake.Com
They also have butt-plugs. This must make a hell of a combination.
posted by Joel Veitch
7/5/2000 11:14:09 PM
Dead Frog Fun
I want one of these
They have lots of good stuff for auction. Dead frogs rock. I have come across kangaroo scrotum purses as well. Does anyone have a kangaroo scrotum purse? How about castrati who have purses made from their own scrotums?
If you have are a eunuch with a purse made from your own scrotal sac, I would like to hear from you.
Please contact me at iamaeunuchandhaveapursemadefrommyownscrotalsac@ratherood.com
posted by Joel Veitch
7/4/2000 11:33:12 PM
Egg-static
I have received a response from the Big Egg People (see Big Egg below) If you do not remember, they have made a hummingbird feeder out of ostrich eggs.
They wrote
Hi Joel. Our feeders are shipped empty and you may use whichever fluid you like, commercial or plain sugar water. The eggs have been cleaned. sterilized and sealed before assembly. The filler hole is in the bottom of the egg and filling instructions are sent with each feeder. If you have any further questions, please feel free to ask. orders@camanoostrich.com
Thank you for your interest in our feeders,
Rick.
So you can fill the big egg with whatever fluid you like? I am going to fill mine with superglue. That should be fun.
If you have ever superglued hummingbirds to an ostrich egg, I would like to hear from you.
posted by Joel Veitch
7/4/2000 11:26:28 PM
Beer Is My God
As everyone knows, beer is the best thing there is. It is the cause of everything bad that ever happens in my life, yet is also the solution to all the bad things that happen in my life. Without beer, I would probably exist in some awful tedious state of autistic trance, with no events occurring whatsoever.
Thank the lordy, then, for this collection of links to everything related to beer in the entire cosmos.
I'm off to get mullered.
posted by Joel Veitch
7/4/2000 11:15:25 PM
Pathetic Excuse
There hasn't been any content for a while. Sorry about that. It's because I'm actually working quite hard for a couple of weeks. It will be over soon. Don't worry. I am at an international media company- I am going to attempt to change all global newsfeeds to stories regarding the iminent takeover of the earth by crabs with my head.
In other news, I have been considering putting together an epochal music video using flash animations of crabs dancing and spinning to music. Does anyone know if this has ever been done before?
posted by Joel Veitch
7/4/2000 11:11:55 PM
