Enrich your mind! Improve your life!

Atop an Inca pyramid in the Peruvian Amazon the Crab of Eternal Wisdom ponders the nature of existence with his horde of fanatical followers

The Guru | Archive | Poetry | Inventions | Investigations | Sports | Ramblings | Weblog Archive]

Wednesday, July 5, 2000

Mullet Mayhem

Like Mullets? Then you'll love Mullets Galore!

There's a particularly good Porn Mullets bit.

Very classy.

Send him your favourite Porn Mullets today!
posted by Joel Veitch 7/5/2000 11:21:35 PM

Clouds At Night

Like clouds? Then you'll love Oscar Van Der Velde's Noctilucent Clouds!

Representative quote:

Damn I missed beautiful noctilucent clouds last night because of stratocumulus!!!!
At 3 a.m. it was clear again but no NLC! That is NOT fair!
Please write something in my guestbook that can cheer me up again...

Lovely pictures.
posted by Joel Veitch 7/5/2000 11:16:30 PM

Funny Stuff For Sale

It has been pointed out to me that there is another supply of dead frog purses at Bluesnake.Com

They also have butt-plugs. This must make a hell of a combination.
posted by Joel Veitch 7/5/2000 11:14:09 PM

Tuesday, July 4, 2000

Dead Frog Fun

I want one of these

They have lots of good stuff for auction. Dead frogs rock. I have come across kangaroo scrotum purses as well. Does anyone have a kangaroo scrotum purse? How about castrati who have purses made from their own scrotums?

If you have are a eunuch with a purse made from your own scrotal sac, I would like to hear from you.

Please contact me at iamaeunuchandhaveapursemadefrommyownscrotalsac@ratherood.com
posted by Joel Veitch 7/4/2000 11:33:12 PM

Egg-static

I have received a response from the Big Egg People (see Big Egg below) If you do not remember, they have made a hummingbird feeder out of ostrich eggs.

They wrote

Hi Joel. Our feeders are shipped empty and you may use whichever fluid you like, commercial or plain sugar water. The eggs have been cleaned. sterilized and sealed before assembly. The filler hole is in the bottom of the egg and filling instructions are sent with each feeder. If you have any further questions, please feel free to ask. orders@camanoostrich.com

Thank you for your interest in our feeders,
Rick.

So you can fill the big egg with whatever fluid you like? I am going to fill mine with superglue. That should be fun.

If you have ever superglued hummingbirds to an ostrich egg, I would like to hear from you. Contact me at ihavegluedhummingbirdstoanostricheggandwanttotelltheworld@rathergood.com
posted by Joel Veitch 7/4/2000 11:26:29 PM

Beer Is My God

As everyone knows, beer is the best thing there is. It is the cause of everything bad that ever happens in my life, yet is also the solution to all the bad things that happen in my life. Without beer, I would probably exist in some awful tedious state of autistic trance, with no events occurring whatsoever.

Thank the lordy, then, for this collection of links to everything related to beer in the entire cosmos.

I'm off to get mullered.
posted by Joel Veitch 7/4/2000 11:15:26 PM

Pathetic Excuse

There hasn't been any content for a while. Sorry about that. It's because I'm actually working quite hard for a couple of weeks. It will be over soon. Don't worry. I am at an international media company- I am going to attempt to change all global newsfeeds to stories regarding the iminent takeover of the earth by crabs with my head.

In other news, I have been considering putting together an epochal music video using flash animations of crabs dancing and spinning to music. Does anyone know if this has ever been done before?
posted by Joel Veitch 7/4/2000 11:11:56 PM