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Enrich your mind! Improve your life! Atop an Inca pyramid in the Peruvian Amazon the Crab of Eternal Wisdom ponders the nature of existence with his horde of fanatical followers The Guru | Archive | Poetry | Inventions | Investigations | Sports | Ramblings | Weblog Archive] |
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Saturday, August 5, 2000Die Fishy Short of ideas for how to kill fish? There is a lot of advice available at this Euthanasia guide. To my surprise, he advises against killing a four foot catfish by putting it in a tank of piranhas. However, wrapping it in a cloth and throwing it at the wall is perfectly acceptable. I'm off to the pet shop to buy some fish, so that I can try out the various techniques for myself. If you have a fun or unusual method of killing fish, why not send details to ihaveanunusualmethodofkillingfish@rathergood.com Friday, August 4, 2000Scary Food I have just arrived in Washington DC on holiday. First impressions? Well, it's the scariness of the food. I went for breakfast down the road and walked past Kung Fu Pizza - how scary. I'm not sure how it works, but I expect either they kung-fu leap the pizza over to you, or you get a pizza with extra kung-fu. Went for an Italian instead- they had Fettucini El Diablo on the menu- I fear evil incarnate spaghetti even more than a ninja pizza. Looks like I may starve. Bugger. Pterodactyl Man I had a very vivid dream last night, which involved me running around in a brightly coloured pterodactyl suit, with small glowing skulls at the end of each finger. I was Pterodactyl Man, and I didn't do anything either good or bad, and everyone knew it was me inside the pterodactyl suit. Pretty unique, I thought. I searched to check that no-body had had a similar experience before, and to my horror found various sites about "Pterodactyl Man", including this interview. Bugger. Thursday, August 3, 2000Sinister Techno-Cat Deterrant Martin Black has drawn my attention to the technical revolution available from PawSense. When it detects a cat typing on your pc, it makes a noise which "annoys the cat" While they seem to think that most cats will learn that they should not type, I strongly suspect that if it tried to deter my cat, Vladimir Leyton Orient Veitch in such a way, he would probably launch an all-out offensive against the computer. Hedgehog Parasite Info Having trouble identifying your hedgehog parasite? I know I am! Thank God, then, for the Welsh Hedgehog Hospital. The infinitely useful hedgehog parasite image gallery will help you to identify your hedgehog parasite in double quick time. Sinister Pet Update In response to Sinister Techno-Cat (see below) Martin Black sent me some useful info: my cat also sits on my lap while I do things on my Mac thing. a while ago My cat is called moth, 13 years old. There is definitely a lesson to be learned here. I strongly suspect that as a result of recent legal proceedings Bill Gates has decided to genetically engineer a parasite which infects cats and makes them vomit on products that do not use Microsoft technology. Coincidence? Never. This is extremely sinister. For legal reasons, I have been advised to point out that I did not just say that- it was someone else who looked like me. Germans in a camper van, infact. They've gone now. Holiday I'm going on holiday for a couple of weeks- woo-hoo! As a result, there is likely to be a lack of new posts here for a little while- why not have a look at the main part of the site instead? Odd Questions I just ordered a new PC from Dell. They asked me if I intended to use it to develop weapons of mass destruction. Infact, if I answered yes, they wanted me to specify what sort of weapons of mass destruction I was going to use it to make. I wonder exactly how many positive responses they get to that? Tuesday, August 1, 2000Meta Spy The Meta-Spy rocks. It shows you what people are searching for on metacrawler in real time. A one minute look turned up people searching for "Japanese Panty Gallery," "Hemoroid Treatments," (sic) "Frank Sinatra" and "sodium phosphatemolecular weight" among many others. If you're short of ideas, it's worth a try. Donkeys The Neato Donkey Page has everything you could ever want to know about donkeys. It's dedicated to the preservation of American Mammoths or something apparently, which I thought were all dead, but there you go. Click on the donkey's nose - it's very cool. Sinister Techno-Cat My cat lives next to the computer. When I work, he sits on me, and helps by walking on the keyboard and showing me what he thinks I should be typing. This may seem perfectly innocuous, but it seems that infact he has a sinister agenda. I was alerted by a friend that someone had posted my portrait at http://www.metababy.com/jake-or-rudy He has also re-named me "Orbitron 5000" presumably to cover his tracks. He is asking people to vote for him, obviously in an attempt to build up enough of a following to take over the world. I voted for my picture, and it did not register, so he has obviously used his evil genius to rig the ballot. Sinister. Very sinister. So, I have a sinister techno-cat. If you have a sinister techno-cat, or other pet such as an evil techno-chinchilla, I would like to hear your story. Send details to ihaveaneviltechnopetandwanttotelltheworld@rathergood.com |
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