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Enrich your mind! Improve your life! Atop an Inca pyramid in the Peruvian Amazon the Crab of Eternal Wisdom ponders the nature of existence with his horde of fanatical followers The Guru | Archive | Poetry | Inventions | Investigations | Sports | Ramblings | Weblog Archive] |
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Saturday, September 16, 2000Puppy Mayhem Scrotum the puppy is very cool. And a bit like me. Friday, September 15, 2000Slug Slaughter! OH MY GOD! I have just discovered that the Giant African Millipede, which I thought to be as invincible as Godzilla, is being mercilessly hunted down by evil carnivorous slugs which appear to be as formidable as any Leopard. The Guardian report, "The Slimy Slayer" desribes these rogue nutter-slugs.... "In the forests of South Africa there lurk slugs far more menacing. No longer satisfied with a succulent leaf or an occasional taste of carrion, these beasts have transformed into ferocious killers." We are no longer safe! I am covering my entire body with glued-on slug pellets from now on incase they come for me in my sleep! Could anything possibly be worse than being eaten alive by a vicious slug? If you have been eaten alive by a ferocious carnivorous slug, or have had a lucky escape, I would like to hear your story. Send it to: iwaseatenalivebyaferociousslugandwanttotelltheworld@rathergood.com Millipede Mayhem I have been losing sleep over the question of how to best care for an African Giant Black Millipede . Thank God, then for the African Giant Black Millipede Caresheet. I quote: "These millipedes have the ability to curl themselves up into a ball if disturbed, and can secrete a rarely used liquid that could be dangerous if put into the eyes or mouth." Sounds a bit like me actually. To be honest, if I was going to get one, I'd probably ask for one that wasn't disturbed to avoid the poisonous secretions. A sane one would be fine (if slightly less entertaining). I do wonder, however, how many people would consider rubbing an African Giant Black Millipede's secretions in their eyes anyway? Maybe it is the people who do this who are disturbed, rather then the millipede. Crab Terror Feedback The awful crab cursor is terrifying the populace as planned: Mr Matt Percy of London writes: "I was going to write that I wasn't scared of the crab at all until I moved the mouse to get to the link and saw it properly - it was actually intensely scary - a 8.2 I reckon" So there you go Gibbon Lunacy I saw, some time ago, a woman who looked after an orphaned blind gibbon. It did backflips, even though it couldn't see anything. I once crewed a yacht with a chap who had lived in a rented house. When he went to look at it, the name tag on the doorbell said "The Gibbons." He rang the doorbell with great excitement, obviously expecting (as you would) to be answered by a horde of somersaulting primates. Imagine his disappointment when it transpired that the house was actually inhabited by a family named "Gibbon." It has since come to my attention that Stanley Gibbons is the proprietor of The Home of Stamp Collecting. I would still rather see the real gibbons personally. Actually I suppose it's possible that he is infact a gibbon called Stanley which collects stamps. If this is the case, I would be very interested to meet him. Especially if he does backflips and has comically long arms. Errr.... And stamps of course. Thursday, September 14, 2000Crab-Tastic! In my ongoing effort to make the rathergood experience as soul-destroying as possible, I have (in collusion with Mr Manuel of tsluts) implemented this terrifying crab cursor. Are you scared of it? Please send scaredness ratings on a scale of 1 (not very scared) to 10 (projectile diarrhoea and heart palpitations) to thisishowscarediamofthisgodawfulcrabcursorplague@rathergood.com Back From Oblivion OK- rathergood is now back to its former self. Hoorah! The world can again sleep in peace. |
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