 |
|||||||
|
Enrich your mind! Improve your life! Atop an Inca pyramid in the Peruvian Amazon the Crab of Eternal Wisdom ponders the nature of existence with his horde of fanatical followers The Guru | Archive | Poetry | Inventions | Investigations | Sports | Ramblings | Weblog Archive] |
|||||||
Tuesday, September 19, 2000More Popey Mayhem The Pope merchandising scam seems to be producing some interest. Mr Blews of geekhaus suggested a vibrating, tune-playing chupa-chup in the shape of His Holiness which blesses you when you suck him- "Pope on a Stick" - also the action figure of "Christ on a Bike" and "Mighty Morphing Disciples" I personally think that my proposed childrens card game "Popemon" is a real winner. Any more suggestions, as always, to ihaveastupidandblasphemousideatomakemoneyoutofthepope@rathergood.com Hard Core Physicist I have always had the utmost respect and admiration for emininent physicist Stephen Hawking. I was, however, previously unaware of his exploits as MC Hawking, the bad-ass gangsta rapper. His tracks are pretty fly. I like "Fuck the creationists" - When I read A Brief History of Time I never thought I'd hear him say "I'm going to put my dick in the mashed potatoes" Great stuff. Monkey Mayhem I was reading dutchbint's clog when I noticed a story about a man in Thailand training monkeys to pick coconuts. I have some more info on this..... a couple of years ago I was in Thailand and had a very brief fling with a girl from a town called Surat Thani. It turns out that Surat Thani is infact home to the world's only monkey academy! Graduates of the academy can be seen scurrying up trees and throwing down coconuts with great gusto. I drank the milk from one (the coconut, not the monkey) and can confirm that there was no diminution in coconut quality whatsoever due to the monkey harvesting it. It wasn't noticably better than one farmed by a human though, I have to admit. I never made it to the academy myself, although I have a wonderful mental image of the monkeys sitting their final exams. I would assume it to be only a matter of time before monkeys trained at the academy are diversifying into other agricultural areas, and can see problems with the European Union's agriculture policy arising as a result. If you are using trained monkeys to perform complex agricultural or industrial tasks, or run a monkey academy training monkeys to do such things as calculate tax returns, I would like to hear your story. Send it to iusetrainedmonkeystoperformcomplexindustrialoragriculturaltasksandwanttotelltheworld@rathergood.com Sunday, September 17, 2000Popey Mayhem The Pope, as figurehead of the Catholic faith and God's representative on Earth, is a marketing man's dream. How best to capitalise on his high Popey profile? In collusion with Mr Manuel of tsluts I have explored a few possibilities, including Pope on a Rope, Pope Soap, Glow-in-the-dark Popes, tobacco ("put that in your Pope and smoke it") Pope cleaners etc. The best so far has to be the fragrant charm of Pope Pourri. If you have any good Pope-related product suggestions, or want to buy some Pope Pourri ("It's Goodly and Godly") please send them to ihaveastupidandblasphemousideatomakemoneyoutofthepope@rathergood.com |
|||||||
|
| |||||||
|
|
|||||||