Saturday, January 27, 2001
Re-Writing the Dictionary
millipless - a deficit of millipedes
substaminast - a low-quality gymnast with poor stamina
spling - to pull (eg- "I'm on the spling this evening", or "did you spling her?" "I gave her a right good splinging" etc)
subling - less intelligent brother or sister
insockethinder - a device which blocks the socket you want to use
precip - to precipitate precipitation
exemy - has now become an ally
ibunquons - painful foot malady
eboover - a web-deliverable boover
gibrewinhibited - A person who has inhibited gibrew function
moroogied - how people used to dance to the Smiths. Morosely boogieing
grahattallusly - in excess, of food. eg- "The Baron ate most grahattallusly at the colonel's banquet"
limble - still nimble, despite unfortunate limp
expulst - to completely purge one's bowels
hoodstods - the product of expulsting
emenclimat - the mental state of one who has recently expulsted
exculmenbagged - of a person who has been forcibly expulsted as a punishment
callinativels - painful nodules resulting from excessive expulsting
huskippitarry - a medicinal insert for treatment of callinativels
why? blame dutchbint for drawing my attention to the random word generator
posted by Joel Veitch 1/27/2001 08:31:39 PM
Friday, January 26, 2001
Video Mayhem
I am making my first moves towards domination of the world of online video.
Relax: a comment on the nature of life and death, an epic tragedy in the homeric tradition. Um, it's a big file though, and it will make a lot more sense if you have sound on.
posted by Joel Veitch 1/26/2001 10:30:45 PM
Tuesday, January 23, 2001
Cannibal Conundrum
Hungry of North London wrote to the guru:
Dear Uncle Guru
I have a good job and a lovely girlfriend but I still feel that there is something missing from my life.
Is cannibalism the answer? I tried it while on holiday in Hull (It's very big up there) and it felt really nice. Apparently it could be illegal and I'm not sure if I should get into it in a big way.
Any tips, recipe's etc?
Thanks
Yours,
Hungry of North London
Dear Hungry
Being a cannibal is nothing to be ashamed of. Some of the greatest figures in history have been cannibals- Oscar Wilde and Alexander the Great to name but 2.
You need to think about what makes you happy, and the sort of person that you really want to be. The fact that not everyone in society may necessarily approve should not stop you from following your own path in life.
Do you fantasise about eating other people? It sounds like you enjoyed it when you tried it. You should come clean with your girlfriend and come out of the closet. Just tell her, your friends and your family:
"I make no apologies, I love to eat other people, it's the way I am"
The days when the "diet that dare not speak its name" was a reality for cannibals are long gone. We live in an inclusive society. Be proud of your dietary urges!
I hope this helps
Regards
The Guru
As ever, any questions regarding anything whatsoever to guru@rathergood.com - ask and you shall be answered.
posted by Joel Veitch 1/23/2001 01:32:46 AM
Sunday, January 21, 2001
Today I Have Been Mainly....
Manipulating aggression among juvenile halibut.
posted by Joel Veitch 1/21/2001 06:42:40 PM
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