Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! And welcome to the 141^st EVER newsletter from rathergood!

What wonderful treats I have in store for you today! Look! We launched our paper planes from the edge of space! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Here's a video including AMAZING footage of the heroic little chaps being hurled into the black beyond:

http://www.rathergood.com/spaceplanes

Genuinely amazing, I'm sure you'll agree! If you find one of the planes, let me know!

Also this week I got Phil Zimmerman to review the iPhone 4 for us.

http://www.rathergood.com/iphone_rant

He's a great reviewer isn't he. Really informative, tells you everything you need to know.

Hey, our Space Planes were in Der Spiegel:

http://bit.ly/f28YxH

I think that's about it for today, except to tell you that I love you. I LOVE YOU SO HARD! I'd do anything for you! I'd make you a lovely facey pie!

I'll get a plaice and I'll remove its face and put it in a pot. Then I'll get a brace of dace and get their faces off too.

I'll pop over to see Chevy Chase, and persuade him to let me have his face by offering to lend him my collection of toy monster trucks. He is MAD for those monster trucks! Dude, he'd do anything to get his hands on my monster truck toys for an afternoon – even let me hack off his face!

I'll track down Dirk Benedict who played Face in the A-Team, and I'll buy his face from him! I'll give him an IOU for however much he wants for his face and I'll remove it and take it home and put it in the pot with all those other faces.

He needs money these days as he's always buying wardrobes on ebay. He's got thousands of them! Massive wardrobes containing smaller wardrobes containing yet smaller wardrobes all the way down to tiny nanoscale wardrobes. He's gone wardrobe mental!

He's spent all his money on nested wardrobes and needs more to keep feeding his habit so if I offer to pay him a tenner at some point he'll let me rip his face off with big rusty iron pincers. RESULT!

Then I'll lace it with mace, and cook it up! Into a delicious facey pie!

A wonderful plaice, brace of dace, Chevy Chase and Face face pie!

I'll place it on lace, and hire Kevin Spacey to deliver it to you, as we all know that:

When you eat a pie that's nice and facey, it's got to come from Kevin Spacey!

I love you oh god I love you I just want to smell you all day can I smell you please? Maybe I could just have a bit of you to take back and sniff? Could I? Just a little bit from somewhere that won't show? You won't miss it. Please? GIVE ME A BIT OF YOU NOW.

Mwah mwah superhugs and megakisses!

Joel Veitch

Founder of rathergood.com
Member of the International Academy of Digital Arts and Sciences
Winner of 3 Webby Awards
Master of Arts (Electronic Media) Oxford Brookes
Bachelor of Arts (English and History) University of Leeds
Marksman (.22, 5.56, 7.62, LMG)
Former Sixer of Grey Six, 19th Forest Hill Cub Scouts
Former Member of MGS school cricket team
Former Sergeant, Combined Cadet Force (RAF Section)
Silver Swimming Badge
3rd best Cross Country runner in my class at age 12
Once had a letter published in the New Scientist
Attended one-night Pork Butchery Course
Keen amateur ukulele player
Bronze lifesavers swimming badge
Full clean driver's license
Passed Cycling Proficiency Test
A levels – English Literature, French and History, all grade A
GCSEs 7xA 2xB
Good understanding of the principals of flight
Good understanding of the principles of spelling
Winner of the Head's Prize for Progress, first year, Aylesford School
50 meters swimming badge
Once did a wee in a loo containing Dannii Minogue's wee
25 meters swimming badge
Amateur experimental rocket / meat scientist
Has caught piranhas on a hand line
Willing to learn semaphore if required
Able to sing The Girl From Ipanema and Mas Que Nada in Portuguese
Survivor of Trans-Atlantic Airplane Fire Horror
Wielder Of The Power Of Science
Inventor of the Dictator Finger Thingdicator
Defeater of Transformers (regardless of voltage)
Founder member of the super-secret League Of Internet Justice
Has eaten chicken madras for breakfast
Commander In Chief of Pork Force
Saver Of Old Ladies In Distress
Owner of Monster Truck
Experienced lawn mower
Finder of camouflaged flip-flops
Amateur Marine Biologist
Vaguely knowledgeable about steam engines
Paper Plane Expert
The man behind many of the Internet’s biggest online successes (London Evening Standard 6 October 2010)
Pie Master
Some bloke who makes cat videos on the internet (copyright Aleks Krotoski)
Kitten Wrangler Extraordinaire
Inventor of Hairy Tongue
Christmas Tree Decorator of some renown
Able to slow kittens to 1/40^th the speed of a normal kitten
Fan of all ungulates
Moon Baron

Helloooooo! And welcome to the 140th EVER newsletter from rathergood!

I have wonderful news for you today! A new album! YEAH! It's called The Ham Machine and it is utterly glorious! It's got 41 tracks on it, some from rathergood and some from 7 Seconds Of Love, all absolutely wonderful! You should totally buy it from iTunes now before they sell out of mp3s!

http://upthear.se/hamalbum

Yeah!

Hey! Also, check this out! I've put up the director's cut of Pop Stasi, and it is TOTALLY AWESOMES!

http://www.rathergood.com/pop_stasi_directors_cut

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I think that's about it for this week, except to tell you that I love you! I LOVE YOU SO HARD! I'd do anything for you! I'll make a beautiful nutritious smoothie for you!

I'll go and get some chlorine from a swimming pool supplies shop and I'll shove my mouth over the bottle and breathe in loads and loads of it so it corrodes my delicious bronchioles and alveoli in to a pinkish mush, then I'll cough all the chlorine-melted lung-slush up in to a cup, gobbets of grey lung lobe and trachea, mixed in with iron-rich blood and phlegm.

I'll get that nutritious lungy broth cup, and I'll drag myself to your door, and scratch against it, coughing and retching bloody lungstuff as I go, trying to catch it in the cup, and when you answer the door I'll present it to you as you look down at me with love in your eyes!

You'll be so grateful! It will be a glorious moment! I'll pull out a fork and offer to season your lung smoothie with the juice of my eyeballs, and then as I slam the prongs home and the world turns dark, the last thing I shall see will be you leaning down to kiss me tenderly and passionately as I win your eternal love with my delicious gift of snack!

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Your sincerely, 

Joel Veitch 

Founder of rathergood.com
Member of the International Academy of Digital Arts and Sciences
Winner of 3 Webby Awards
Master of Arts (Electronic Media) Oxford Brookes
Bachelor of Arts (English and History) University of Leeds
Marksman (.22, 5.56, 7.62, LMG)
Former Sixer of Grey Six, 19th Forest Hill Cub Scouts
Former Member of MGS school cricket team
Former Sergeant, Combined Cadet Force (RAF Section)
Silver Swimming Badge
3rd best Cross Country runner in my class at age 12
Once had a letter published in the New Scientist
Attended one-night Pork Butchery Course
Keen amateur ukulele player
Bronze lifesavers swimming badge
Full clean driver's license
Passed Cycling Proficiency Test
A levels – English Literature, French and History, all grade A
GCSEs 7xA 2xB
Good understanding of the principals of flight
Good understanding of the principles of spelling
Winner of the Head's Prize for Progress, first year, Aylesford School
50 meters swimming badge
Once did a wee in a loo containing Dannii Minogue's wee
25 meters swimming badge
Amateur experimental rocket / meat scientist
Has caught piranhas on a hand line
Willing to learn semaphore if required
Able to sing The Girl From Ipanema and Mas Que Nada in Portuguese
Survivor of Trans-Atlantic Airplane Fire Horror
Wielder Of The Power Of Science
Inventor of the Dictator Finger Thingdicator
Defeater of Transformers (regardless of voltage)
Founder member of the super-secret League Of Internet Justice
Has eaten chicken madras for breakfast
Commander In Chief of Pork Force
Saver Of Old Ladies In Distress
Owner of Monster Truck
Experienced lawn mower
Finder of camouflaged flip-flops
Amateur Marine Biologist
Vaguely knowledgeable about steam engines
Paper Plane Expert
The man behind many of the Internet’s biggest online successes (London Evening Standard 6 October 2010)
Pie Master
Some bloke who makes cat videos on the internet (copyright Aleks Krotoski)
Kitten Wrangler Extraordinaire
Inventor of Hairy Tongue
Christmas Tree Decorator of some renown
Able to slow kittens to 1/40th the speed of a normal kitten
Fan of all ungulates

Helloooooo! And HAPPY NEW YEAR! And welcome to the 139th EVER newsletter from rathergood! Which is also the first EVER newsletter from me in 2011! YEAH!

 

I've got something utterly wonderful for you today! Look! Here are our kittens dancing in dreamy super slow motion!

 

http://www.rathergood.com/kittens_slowmo

 

Isn't that wonderful! They actually move like this in real life sometimes. Watching them is like being in a strangely beautiful dream!

 

Hey in personal news I took Zak out for his first ever ride on a proper bike! Here's some vid of it if you're interested- it's a pretty big moment in a boy's life!

 

http://youtu.be/YOaCKl4_HfM

 

In other news I came across this lovely vid for our iPhone song:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDmscb8sd5M

 

That's about it for today, except to tell you that I love you! I love you SO HARD! I'd do ANYTHING for you! I'm going to make you the most delicious meal!

 

There's a shop round the corner from me that sells delicious frozen pigs uteri. I'm going to buy a pack of these and thaw them out. It also sells delicious duck eggs.

 

Once the pig uteri are thawed, I'll take a pair of garden shears and tear a hole in my abdomen, and I'll shove those pig uteri right in to my abdominal cavity. Then I'll get the duck eggs, and I'll shove a duck egg in to each one of those pig uteri in my abdomen, making sure it's nicely enveloped. Then I'll staple the gaping wound back up and I guess add some glue to make sure it doesn't tear open by mistake.

 

Then I'll go and curl up on a floor in the dark somewhere to nurse the excruciating agony of my slashed up abdomen with pig uteri and duck eggs shoved in. I'll keep it dark, and smear some of the blood and pus that leaks out around the place for decoration, and make screeching and wailing noises to try and help me through the overwhelming, maddening, unrelenting pain.

 

The duck eggs will find a comfortable home in those uteri, and will develop happily. Eventually, after however long it takes, they will hatch! The creatures within will break through their shells and start chewing and tearing their way towards freedom. This will of course be a time of indescribable torture for me as the creatures fight their way out through my abdomen, eventually bursting through the skin in a fountain of blood and pus, to claw their way in to the world.

 

They will have taken on the characteristics of both the duck and the pig due to their hybrid birthing environment. The males shall be called Pucks and the females shall be called Digs. They will have trotters, wings, snouts made of rubbery yellow duck bill, be covered in feathers and have curly tails. They will make a beautiful “Quoink” noise as they snuffle around looking for food.

 

Their food will be flesh.

 

They will lick ravenously at the blood and pus and bits of rotten pig uterus that will by this point be flowing freely from my torn-open abdomen as I writhe and scream and scream and writhe on the floor. Their ungodly, mutated jaws tearing hungrily in to my wounds.

 

After a bit I will get the strength together to whack them with hammers and pull myself across the floor to the oven, where I will prepare them with rosemary, garlic, salt, pepper and olive oil, and roast them until they have perfect crackling.

 

Then I will drag myself to my car with the delicious roasted Digs and Pucks, and drive as fast as I possibly can to your house, so as to arrive there before I lose consciousness from the pain and blood loss.

 

I will drive my car at speed straight through your front wall, again to save time, and fall out of the wrecked vehicle with my horrific mutated delicious gifts for you. As you pull yourself from the wreckage of your home you will be overcome with joy, admiration and love for me, as you see how lovely my present for you truly is! You will tuck in to those delicious abominations, and as I finally allow myself to drift away in to sweet sweet nothingness and away from the horror and torment, you will kiss me full on the mouth and tell me you will be mine forever!

 

OH GOD THAT WILL BE SO GREAT! I'll get right round the shops, just let me know when to get cracking on it!

 

Mwah ,Mwah, Extrasuperdupernewyearhugs!

 

Yours sincerely

 

Joel Veitch

Founder of rathergood.com

Member of the International Academy of Digital Arts and Sciences

Winner of 3 Webby Awards

Master of Arts (Electronic Media) Oxford Brookes

Bachelor of Arts (English and History) University of Leeds

Marksman (.22, 5.56, 7.62, LMG)

Former Sixer of Grey Six, 19th Forest Hill Cub Scouts

Former Member of MGS school cricket team

Former Sergeant, Combined Cadet Force (RAF Section)

Silver Swimming Badge

3rd best Cross Country runner in my class at age 12

Once had a letter published in the New Scientist

Attended one-night Pork Butchery Course

Keen amateur ukulele player

Bronze lifesavers swimming badge

Full clean driver's license

Passed Cycling Proficiency Test

A levels – English Literature, French and History, all grade A

GCSEs 7xA 2xB

Good understanding of the principals of flight

Good understanding of the principles of spelling

Winner of the Head's Prize for Progress, first year, Aylesford School

50 meters swimming badge

Once did a wee in a loo containing Dannii Minogue's wee

25 meters swimming badge

Amateur experimental rocket / meat scientist

Has caught piranhas on a hand line

Willing to learn semaphore if required

Able to sing The Girl From Ipanema and Mas Que Nada in Portuguese

Survivor of Trans-Atlantic Airplane Fire Horror

Wielder Of The Power Of Science

Inventor of the Dictator Finger Thingdicator

Defeater of Transformers (regardless of voltage)

Founder member of the super-secret League Of Internet Justice

Has eaten chicken madras for breakfast

Commander In Chief of Pork Force

Saver Of Old Ladies In Distress

Owner of Monster Truck

Experienced lawn mower

Finder of camouflaged flip-flops

Amateur Marine Biologist

Vaguely knowledgeable about steam engines

Paper Plane Expert

The man behind many of the Internet’s biggest online successes (London Evening Standard 6 October 2010)

Pie Master

Some bloke who makes cat videos on the internet (copyright Aleks Krotoski)

Kitten Wrangler Extraordinaire

Inventor of Hairy Tongue

Christmas Tree Decorator of some renown

Able to slow kittens to 1/40th the speed of a normal kitten

Helloooooo, and MERRY CHRISTMAS! Welcome to the 138th EVER newsletter from rathergood! It is a CHRISTMAS newsletter! HOORAY CHRISTMAS AAARGH!

This year our decorations are mainly kittens! Look! I've got kittens in my Christmas Tree! Lalalalalaaaa!

http://rathergood.com/christmas_kittens

This week I was sent this glorious acoustic cover of our Bagger 288 song. Marvel at its majesty!

http://bit.ly/fCTmKl

Proof that even massive murderous leviathans of doom can be melancholic at times.

I also really enjoyed this man's explanation of how the Bagger 288 vid crushed his sanity:

http://www.reddit.com/tb/emqp5

Here is a video of a dog's reaction to Hover Bacon:

http://upthear.se/doghoverbacon

I thought that, seeing as it's Christmas, I'd link to a bunch of rathergood Christmas stuff. So here you go!

Uncle Wormsley's Christmas:

http://www.rathergood.com/wormsley

Communist Christmas:

http://www.rathergood.com/christmas

Merry Squidmas:

http://www.rathergood.com/squidmas

Christmas Manatee:

http://www.rathergood.com/christmas_manatee

Christmas USBCell Bunnies:

http://www.rathergood.com/usbcellchristmas

Well, I think you'll agree, that was a festive marathon! Hoorays! Also woohoos! That's about it for today, except to tell you that I love you! I love you SO HARD! I'd do anything for you!

First I'll eat a chocolate-covered almond (I know they are your favourite). Then I'll feed a parachute to a rhino, fly it up to 30,000 feet in a plane and chuck it out. Then I'll strip naked, strap a horn to my face and jump out of the plane myself!

I'll plummet down on an intercept course with the falling, enraged rhino, and go horn-to-horn with him in free-fall! As we plummet towards our deaths, I'll battle that rhino in proper rhino style- using only my face-horn and brute strength!

Eventually I'll fight my way right inside that rhino, and I'll retrieve the parachute from his stomach. I'll strap it on, burst back out of the rhino and pull the rip-chord, then steer the gory parachute down and smash through your bedroom window horn-first!

Gory, lacerated, naked and horny (face horny that is, of course) I'll stride over to you as you lie there in awe of my majestic presence, and I'll shove my fingers down my throat until I start retching, then I'll vomit that delicious chocolate-covered almond right in to your mouth, so you can have it as a special Christmas treat, just from me! Lucky you! Then I guess I'll demonstrate my strength by charging around the room ramming furniture and walls with my face horn until I eventually batter myself unconscious.

I love you that much!

Mwah mwah merry Christmas superfestivehugs!

Yours sincerely

Joel Veitch

Founder of rathergood.com
Member of the International Academy of Digital Arts and Sciences
Winner of 3 Webby Awards
Master of Arts (Electronic Media) Oxford Brookes
Bachelor of Arts (English and History) University of Leeds
Marksman (.22, 5.56, 7.62, LMG)
Former Sixer of Grey Six, 19th Forest Hill Cub Scouts
Former Member of MGS school cricket team
Former Sergeant, Combined Cadet Force (RAF Section)
Silver Swimming Badge
3rd best Cross Country runner in my class at age 12
Once had a letter published in the New Scientist
Attended one-night Pork Butchery Course
Keen amateur ukulele player
Bronze lifesavers swimming badge
Full clean driver's license
Passed Cycling Proficiency Test
A levels – English Literature, French and History, all grade A
GCSEs 7xA 2xB
Good understanding of the principals of flight
Good understanding of the principles of spelling
Winner of the Head's Prize for Progress, first year, Aylesford School
50 meters swimming badge
Once did a wee in a loo containing Dannii Minogue's wee
25 meters swimming badge
Amateur experimental rocket / meat scientist
Has caught piranhas on a hand line
Willing to learn semaphore if required
Able to sing The Girl From Ipanema and Mas Que Nada in Portuguese
Survivor of Trans-Atlantic Airplane Fire Horror
Wielder Of The Power Of Science
Inventor of the Dictator Finger Thingdicator
Defeater of Transformers (regardless of voltage)
Founder member of the super-secret League Of Internet Justice
Has eaten chicken madras for breakfast
Commander In Chief of Pork Force
Saver Of Old Ladies In Distress
Owner of Monster Truck
Experienced lawn mower
Finder of camouflaged flip-flops
Amateur Marine Biologist
Vaguely knowledgeable about steam engines
Paper Plane Expert
The man behind many of the Internet’s biggest online successes (London Evening Standard 6 October 2010)
Pie Master
Some bloke who makes cat videos on the internet (copyright Aleks Krotoski)
Kitten Wrangler Extraordinaire
Inventor of Hairy Tongue
Christmas Tree Decorator of some renown

Helloooooooooo! And welcome to the 137th EVER newsletter from rathergood!

I have invented the greatest food of all time! You can stop inventing other foods now, there is no further need! For I have created HAIRY TONGUE:

http://www.rathergood.com/hairytongue

Yeah!

In other news I was on Canal+, the French TV station, talking about internet cats the other day. If you go to about 3 minutes in on this link you can see me:

http://upthear.se/canal

I was very taken with the Republic Of Bacon's analysis of my bacon-related content this week:

http://upthear.se/repofbcn

And I was very amused to see that Mick Hucknall has apologised publicly for being a massive letch, in celebration of which I would like to remind you of my classic Mick Hucknall trilogy:

http://upthear.se/hucknall1

http://upthear.se/hucknall2

http://upthear.se/hucknall3

I think that's about it for this week, except to tell you that I love you. I love you SO HARD! I'd do anything for you! I'll make you a meal of Hairy Tongue! I love you so much that I'll make a really special one for you!

I'll boil up a pan of water, and then I'll lean over it and stick my tongue in, and hold it there in the boiling water for a good 3 hours till it's cooked through, then I'll shove spaghetti through my tongue, still in my mouth, and plunge it back in to boiling water for another 15 minutes or so until it's ready, then I'll pour some Wild Boar gravy in to my mouth, and open up my mouth as far as I can, and then I'll come over and French Kiss you with my delicious cooked hairy gravy-drenched tongue! It will be the best French kiss of your whole life, because as well as being a kiss, it will be a delicious meal! You can chomp and chew and gnaw away at my delicious tongue all the time we're kissing!

After you've eaten it all up I will allow myself finally to succumb to the massive pain and pass out for a while, and you can have a nice nap  to sleep off your delicious meal!

I love you that much!

Mwah mwah superhugs and slobbery face licks (while I still have a tongue to lick with)!

Yours sincerely

Joel Veitch

Founder of rathergood.com
Member of the International Academy of Digital Arts and Sciences
Winner of 3 Webby Awards
Master of Arts (Electronic Media) Oxford Brookes
Bachelor of Arts (English and History) University of Leeds
Marksman (.22, 5.56, 7.62, LMG)
Former Sixer of Grey Six, 19th Forest Hill Cub Scouts
Former Member of MGS school cricket team
Former Sergeant, Combined Cadet Force (RAF Section)
Silver Swimming Badge
3rd best Cross Country runner in my class at age 12
Once had a letter published in the New Scientist
Attended one-night Pork Butchery Course
Keen amateur ukulele player
Bronze lifesavers swimming badge
Full clean driver's license
Passed Cycling Proficiency Test
A levels – English Literature, French and History, all grade A
GCSEs 7xA 2xB
Good understanding of the principals of flight
Good understanding of the principles of spelling
Winner of the Head's Prize for Progress, first year, Aylesford School
50 meters swimming badge
Once did a wee in a loo containing Dannii Minogue's wee
25 meters swimming badge
Amateur experimental rocket / meat scientist
Has caught piranhas on a hand line
Willing to learn semaphore if required
Able to sing The Girl From Ipanema and Mas Que Nada in Portuguese
Survivor of Trans-Atlantic Airplane Fire Horror
Wielder Of The Power Of Science
Inventor of the Dictator Finger Thingdicator
Defeater of Transformers (regardless of voltage)
Founder member of the super-secret League Of Internet Justice
Has eaten chicken madras for breakfast
Commander In Chief of Pork Force
Saver Of Old Ladies In Distress
Owner of Monster Truck
Experienced lawn mower
Finder of camouflaged flip-flops
Amateur Marine Biologist
Vaguely knowledgeable about steam engines
Paper Plane Expert
The man behind many of the Internet’s biggest online successes (London Evening Standard 6 October 2010)
Pie Master
Some bloke who makes cat videos on the internet (copyright Aleks Krotoski)
Kitten Wrangler Extraordinaire
Inventor of Hairy Tongue