Helloooooooooooooo! And welcome to the 113th EVER newsletter from rathergood!
We have a very special treat for you this week. Look! We fashioned a rocket from glorious bacon! Rocket Science and Bacon Science, the two greatest achievements of human civilisation, finally unified!
I think that's about it for this week, except to tell you that I love you! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! I'd do anything for you! You like honey right? Well, I'll make sure you've ALWAYS got honey! I'll follow you around giving you honey! To ensure a constant supply, I'll set up a hive in my bladder! The bees can get in and out through my urethra! Then I'll be able to wee out honey for you! All over your yoghurt! Just watch out for the bees, that's all, although they will be friendly bees so it should be fine!
The only thing we'll need to be careful about is if a swarm of Japanese giant hornets find the hive, because if they do they will slaughter all the precious bees so they can break in to the hive and eat the larvae. I don't want 5,000 furious murderous giant Japanese hornets up my old chap, I think that would be really horrid. I don't want them to slaughter my bladder-bees, and I also fear the litres of venom injected in to my bits in the process would smart an awful lot. To avoid this eventuality I think it would be best if I shove a few thousand deadly scorpions up there to fight off any invading Japanese giant hornet swarms. Scorpions have the added advantage of glowing under UV light, which is TOTALLY COOL! You'll have to watch out for any escaping deadly scorpions while I'm widdling honey in to your yoghurt of course but that's a small price to pay right?
Mwah mwah superhugs and ultrakisses!
Your sincerely
Joel Veitch
Founder of rathergood.com Member of the International Academy of Digital Arts and Sciences Winner of 3 Webby Awards Master of Arts (Electronic Media) Oxford Brookes Bachelor of Arts (English and History) University of Leeds Marksman (.22, 5.56, 7.62, LMG) Former Sixer of Grey Six, 19th Forest Hill Cub Scouts Former Member of MGS school cricket team Former Sergeant, Combined Cadet Force (RAF Section) Silver Swimming Badge 3rd best Cross Country runner in my class at age 12 Once had a letter published in the New Scientist Attended one-night Pork Butchery Course Keen amateur ukulele player Bronze lifesavers swimming badge Full clean driver's license Passed Cycling Proficiency Test A levels – English Literature, French and History, all grade A GCSEs 7xA 2xB Good understanding of the principals of flight Good understanding of the principles of spelling Winner of the Head's Prize for Progress, first year, Aylesford School 50 meters swimming badge Once did a wee in a loo containing Dannii Minogue's wee
I think that's about it for today, except to tell you that I love you. I love you SO HARD! I'd do anything for you! I'll genetically engineer mood-changing herbs for you, so you can use them to change you mood whenever you want! I will make:
Founder of rathergood.com Member of the International Academy of Digital Arts and Sciences Winner of 3 Webby Awards Master of Arts (Electronic Media) Oxford Brookes Bachelor of Arts (English and History) University of Leeds Marksman (.22, 5.56, 7.62, LMG) Former Sixer of Grey Six, 19th Forest Hill Cub Scouts Former Member of MGS school cricket team Former Sergeant, Combined Cadet Force (RAF Section) Silver Swimming Badge 3rd best Cross Country runner in my class at age 12 Once had a letter published in the New Scientist Attended one-night Pork Butchery Course Keen amateur ukulele player Bronze lifesavers swimming badge Full clean driver's license Passed Cycling Proficiency Test A levels – English Literature, French and History, all grade A GCSEs 7xA 2xB Good understanding of the principals of flight Good understanding of the principles of spelling Winner of the Head's Prize for Progress, first year, Aylesford School
Hello! And welcome to the 111th EVER newsletter from rathergood!
Look! We've been making delicious black pudding! If you're not aware of it, black pudding is a sausage made from blood and fat which is served fried, and is one of my favourite things to eat! Anyway, have a look at this delightful video:
In other news, I came across this little dog dancing to one of our songs. I'm not sure the dog was very impressed by the experience but he looks very cute:
In other news I made an amazing seafood feast for Valentine's Day last weekend. I went down to the posh fish shop and bought clams, mussels, prawns and ling, cooked them up very simply with garlic, onion, half a glass of white wine and a bit of olive oil, served over spaghetti.
I was very pleased with myself. Right up until the point where Jacqui started violently vomiting. Right up till that point.
Once we reached the point where Jacqui was violently chucking up for hours, leaning over the toilet in misery, I was less pleased with myself.
Hey-ho. Never mind eh?
Ooh also, you know what? My office used to be Alexander McQueen's cutting room many years ago. How about that eh?
I think that's about it for today, except to tell you that I love you. I love you SO HARD! I'd do ANYTHING for you! I'd make a whole series of films for you based on the successful “Saw” movies. Except with lathes.
Lathe- a film consisting of several hours of rapidly spinning table legs.
Followed by the sequels:
Lathe II: Turn Of The Banister! Lathe III: Revolutions! Lathe IV: Spin City
Then we'd go on a bit of a departure with Lathe V: Hot Girls In The Raw – in which a load of overheating women gather in the meat section of a local supermarket because the refrigerators make it nice and cool, while in the background a man uses a lathe to whittle cubes of meat into sausages.
Founder of rathergood.com Member of the International Academy of Digital Arts and Sciences Winner of 3 Webby Awards Master of Arts (Electronic Media) Oxford Brookes Bachelor of Arts (English and History) University of Leeds Marksman (.22, 5.56, 7.62, LMG) Former Sixer of Grey Six, 19th Forest Hill Cub Scouts Former Member of MGS school cricket team Former Sergeant, Combined Cadet Force (RAF Section) Silver Swimming Badge 3rd best Cross Country runner in my class at age 12 Once had a letter published in the New Scientist Attended one-night Pork Butchery Course Keen amateur ukulele player Bronze lifesavers swimming badge Full clean driver's license Passed Cycling Proficiency Test A levels – English Literature, French and History, all grade A GCSEs 7xA 2xB Good understanding of the principals of flight Good understanding of the principles of spelling
