This is the best thing I have seen in a very, very long time. Brilliant! BRILLIANT I SAY! I want a go so badly. I have to go to this festival. It is the best festival ever! Let's all tape bombs to sledge hammers and smash them into the ground to BLOW THEM THE FUCK UP!

YEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

This is simultaneously the best and also the worst idea anyone has ever had.

I have been spending some time lately looking at lyrics of soviet songs, as per that post down there, and I ended up wondering what North Korean song lyrics might be like. A quick look exposed me to the bonkers world of North Korean youtube vids and blogs. I had no idea that such things existed - but my life is richer now that I have found them. North Korea is well, well mental.

The youtube accounts and blogs out there are clearly state-run propaganda, but they are so incredibly badly done that they are almost a parody of themselves. It would be hilarious, if there wasn't so much human tragedy behind it. Have a look at the wonderfully mental Songun Blog:

 http://songun-blog.blogspot.com/

 A choice extract gives us this tale of Kim Jong Il on a visit to troops:

 "[King Jong Il] stood up from all his height, his bulging muscles rippling loudly under his frock coat. Glancing around in an instant he immediately and perfectly appraised the situation at hand."

But the very best bit about it all is that we follow the crazy rhetoric about Kim Jong Il's invincibility and genius with this inexplicably camp video: 

Isn't that just fabulous? Just FABULOUS! Have a look at his youtube account for more crazy propaganda http://uk.youtube.com/user/Songunblog

Hooray! Mr Honk can crawl! He has been trying for ages, and been very close to success for a very long time, but as of yesterday morning he is now officially self-propelled.



This will have far-reaching consequences. He will presumably ratchet up escape attempts, and also will find it easier to acquire treasure which he previously was unable to claim, such as knives, glasses, cups of hot tea etc. The cat will also be at an increased level of peril.

All round, hooray for Mr Honk!

Patrick Nolte has sent in some queries regarding Hover Bacon. My responses are below:

Does Hover bacon work the same way a flying carpet works?
No. Flying carpets are essentially bunkum. If you have been sold a flying carpet it is probably either a: just a carpet or b: a hovercraft with a carpet over it.

Can people fly on Hover Bacon?
Yes. Yes they can.

One person here thinks you control the bacon by thought but the rest think there has to be some sort of control or maybe you would "surf" on it.
You don't use controls to control Hover Bacon. To be honest it's not really conscious thought either. It's much more Zen than that. Essentially you have to feel the bacon, become one with the bacon, feel the consciousness of your brains meld into the consciousness of the Universal Bacon, and then you will find that your will and the will of the Bacon are one.

Does the bacon itself come from the moon? Being the crab of ineffable wisdom, you already stated that all meat comes from the moon.
You have answered your own question there my friend. Yes, of course Hover Bacon comes from the moon, as does all meat. The Hover Bacon Mine is in an extremely secret moon location, where it is mined by slave dwarves who have been sworn to secrecy. The dwarves have to be tethered, of course, to prevent them from escaping from the mine on the Hover Bacon.

I hope all this information helps, and is of use to you

Regards

Joel aka The Crab Of Ineffable Wisdom aka The Guru aka Stallion Explosion