Hellloooooooo and welcome to the 83rd EVER update from rathergood!

Joel's away on holiday this week, but he left us the keys to rathergood HQ and we've had so much fun! Seadave and I have not been missing Joel AT ALL! So much so, that we constructed a Joel shrine, and danced around it, hourly, singing songs about how we didn't miss Joel. And, do you know, it's worked! We didn't miss him at all In fact, we barely thought about Joel while we were dancing and singing about how much we didn't miss him. BOOHOOHOOHOO!

Anyway, on to the important stuff. We saw a brilliant advert for Japanese noodles a while back, featuring an insane cheese monster who torments his victims by ejaculating cheese out of his fingers; parmesan from the right, and cheddar from the left. It inspired us to do a little remix thing, with a bit of help from Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, David Bowie, and some old spectrum noises (together at last!). Drink in its cheesy glory here: http://www.rathergood.com/cheese

Also, we've got a great misheard lyric from an old Public Enemy tune which Joel knocked out before HE CRUELLY LEFT US ALL ALONE: http://www.rathergood.com/noise

Ace, huh? Did you notice that both videos this week had cuckoo clocks in? Isn't that an amazing coincidence? I think we are developing some kind of "hive mind" between ourselves. Curiouzzzzzzz.

Oh, one other thing: Joel asked us to tell you that he loves you loads, and do you know, it's absolutely true. He's always going on about you, you lucky lucky people. I bet he'd never abandon you and go off for a week's holiday, would he? WOULD HE? Oh. Right. So, Joel will be back next week THANK GOD. Not that we've missed him, of course. We've been fine without him. Absolutely fine. Barely given it a second thought.

Anyway, must dash, we're late for our hourly Joel ritual dance. Seeeeeeya! Lord Skankhammer, MSkank (Hons)

Helloooooo! And welcome to the 82nd EVER update from rathergood!

I have got literally the happiest thing in the history of everything ever for you today! And that is no exaggeration whatsoever! In fact it is an understatement! Here is My Baby Goat!

http://www.rathergood.com/goat

YEAH! Hasn't that uplifted you? Don't you feel AMAZING now? Hooray for the little happy bouncing baby goat! You can get incredibly happy goaty tshirts too! From here!

http://bit.ly/3rneK

In other news, a couple of years ago we did some lovely animations around Big Brother for E4 with the contestants as animals. I've whacked a couple of them up on the site so you can see them! Enjoy!

http://www.rathergood.com/big_brother

We've also added an uber-menu to rathergood, with pretty much everything that isn't written word all in one place:

http://www.rathergood.com/table/all/

It looks well ultimate, doesn't it! There's loads of stuff when you put it all together like that! YEAH!

I asked Skankhammer if there was anything else we should mention this week and he pointed out that he's upgraded our content management system from Joomla 1.5.7 to 1.5.12! OH MY GOD! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!?!?!?!?! That is TOTALLY HARDCORE! GNARLY DUDE! I have just vomited, because I am so overwhelmed with excitement at this, and I expect you have probably just vomited too.

I guess that's about it, except to tell you that I love you. I love you really hard! I love you as hard as I can, all the time! I'm loving you right now! I'm loving you while I write this! I am loving you furiously!

People sometimes ask me whether the love comes first, or the fury. I tell them that they both engender each other. As soon as I start loving, I become furious. If something makes me furious, I begin loving uncontrollably. The fury and the loving, overwhelming me with their extremity. I start to scream both in fury and love, turn bright red and the veins pop out of my head. Screaming and screaming, loving and loving, round and round I spin, flailing and screaming and loving, till I collapse in a heap, exhausted, soaked in sweat and love.

And then it begins again. On and on, round and round, every day.

What a beautiful life it is, full of so much love, and so much fury.

Mwah mwah superhugs and big sloppy kisses!

Yours sincerely

Joel Andrew Veitch MA

Zak loves watching extreme sports on the TV. He particularly likes racing cars and racing motorbikes. I was watching the racing cars with him on the Extreme Sports Channel when on came a sport of which I was previously unaware.

In America, it seems, there is a sport which involves sitting on an angry cow.

I'm a bit confused why anyone would want to sit on an angry cow, but sit on them they do. In fact, they do it for a living. Yes, that's right, there are people who make a living out of sitting on the cows. The cows clearly really dislike it. It really annoys them. That's why they are so angry.

There are loads of people sitting watching and cheering

"Yeeehaaaa! You're really good at sitting on an angry cow! Well done! Woohoo!"

I find the whole thing a bit confusing. In Spain, they stab the cows. Cow stabbing seems even less fair than sitting on them to be honest. I guess it must be because Spaniards weigh less on average than Americans - they probably feel they don't have the weight to sit on the cows, so they're better off stabbing them. I guess I can see their point, those cows look pretty angry.

I wonder if we in England are losing out badly by not having a sport based on being mean to cows. They seem to enjoy it in America and Spain. I wonder if we should invent one. I think sitting on them and stabbing them are both a bit much for me, to be honest, so we should probably think of something a bit more accessible. Maybe we could just be a bit unpleasant to them. Make them feel a bit uneasy.

I notice that both American Cow Sitter-Onners and Spanish Cow Stabbers get dressed up in fancy costumes. I guess we should do that too. I reckon maybe a pirate hat, and a red tracksuit top with colourful paper streamers glued on it, and spangly golden speedos would do the job. And sandals.

Then I'd stand in an arena with a cow, and thousands of people would watch and cheer while I made the cow feel a bit uneasy about things. Maybe by saying "BOO!" or doing a chicken walk or some forward rolls.

It does worry me that I'd feel a bit sorry for the cow mind. I like cows, they are nice. Maybe we should just have a sport where we're nice to the cows instead. That would be much more fun, surely? We could give them nice hats too, and paint flowers on them, and generally let them know that they are very pretty cows. And the crowd would cheer and everyone would go home happy.

Yes, I think that's the sport we should invent. Extreme Cow Makeover And Complimenting.

Now THAT is what I call an extreme sport.

Helloooo! And welome to the 81st EVER update from rathergood!

We have the best thing EVER in the history of EVERYTHING today!

This lady was complaining about her dog's bitey ways. We simply HAD to make a jolly musical remix. It is truly a thing of beauty! Enjoy!

http://www.rathergood.com/bite

Isn't that simply the greatest thing you have ever seen in your entire life?

There's an mp3 of it here if you'd like it for your ringtone or ipod or whatever:

http://www.rathergood.com/music/he_bite_me.mp3

The other thing I want to show you today is my latest cookery attempt. We got a Slap Chop in the office, and I wanted to try and make some proper food with it- bearing in mind that we have no cooker here. I came up with Slap Chop Steak Veitchois! Have a butcher's:

http://www.rathergood.com/Slap_Chop_Steak_Veitchois

I think that's about it for this week, except to let you know that I love you.

I love you so HARD! I love you so hard I'd get you a pony! I'd get you a pony all of your own, and he'd be called Lucky and he'd be YOUR pony!

I'll have to give him to you over a period of time though. It's too big a present to have all at once. We'll start with a leg. I'll give you a leg tomorrow. You can call him Leggy, and he can be your best friend! Back left leg for starters. If you've been good at Christmas you can have the torso! He's called Bleedy! Eventually, you'll have your whole pony! Good old Lucky the pony! And in the meantime, good old Leggy the back left leg of Lucky!

Mwah mwah superhugs you are looking so HOT OH GOD YOU ARE SO HOT OH GOD CAN I TOUCH YOU?

Yours faithfully

Mr Joel Andrew Veitch MA

There is a bricklayer who robs bricks from the rich and gives them to the poor. He is known as Robin Hod.

He means well, he really does. People just don't seem to appreciate his deeds though.

"Oh wow thanks Robin, more bricks. Sigh."

"Any chance of some money or food next time? No? Just bricks then."

Next week, here comes Robin again, bounding along full of glee at the prospect of helping the poor.

"Here you go!" he shouts, throwing bricks around with all his strength, smashing windows and sending poor people running screaming for cover.

"FUCK OFF ROBIN HOD FUCK OFF WITH YOUR FUCKING BRICKS NOBODY WANTS THEM YOU FUCKING MADMAN!"

He just stands there grinning, not really understanding, then goes off merrily to rob some more bricks.

He's a big fan of Richard the Lion Hod, who he strongly believes is the rightful King. Nobody else seems to have heard of him though.