Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Welcome to the 17th ever newsletter from rathergood and 7 Seconds Of Love!
We've recorded a new song, and it's the HAPPIEST THING IN THE WHOLE WORLD! And we've even made a video, and I think it's BRILL! YEAH! The song is Twister, and you can see it here:
Isn't it just the fabbest thing ever?
The video was directed by our guitarist and all-round multi-talented wunderkind Cap'n Skipper Pat and it's just wonderful.
I was going to write a little story about the filming of this, but Macro Ed (aka Love Tubes, aka Mr Ed) has beaten me to it, so I'll hand over to him and let him describe events...
It was a very cold day in January indeed when we all packed up the day after the (absolutely f*cking brilliant) Moles gig in Bath on the 27th and set off in a convoy to Cap't Pat's aunt's house in darkest Somerset.
We arrived (hungover, of course) at a large set of gateposts, with a long gravel drive leading to what looked like a Stately home set in green rolling English countryside.
Did we have the wrong address? No, we had finally arrived at the ancestral residence of the Cap't Family, and we filed through the stately rooms and corridors in hushed tones, jaws agape. Were we seeing the very same grand staircase the young Cap't would have slid down on a Persian carpet? Which blunderbuss would the nipper have tugged out into the field to bag his first flock of unsuspecting pigeons?
After being greeted by the Lady of the House, we went to scout out our location. On a rather shit, cloudy English day, not many places were going to look like a beach on 'a sunny day in July'. Thankfully all good country houses come with a swimming pool, and kind of spiky palm tree like bush, and it was clear that we could plonk Stallion down there with 'a beer and book' to enjoy his pork pie, and bit of editing and forgiveness in the eye of the beholder would manage the rest.
After a tour of the rest of frankly one of the most amazing residences I have ever seen, we set down to business. This involved making a large pot of tea and dressing in women's clothing.
Whilst Capt, Skanks, Stallion and Bass Cadet departed to get the set all ready, Chaynsaw and I got all hot and
bothered putting on dresses wigs and make up. As well you can imagine, we looked REALLY sexy.
I got worried that Janine had glued my eyes shut with fake eyelash adhesive but thankfully, two minutes later, my eye lids parted and the world was still there. Loo roll makes great tits, by the way, no wonder you girls get through so much of the stuff!
Cap't had written out a shot list and we set to work. It was absolutely frickin freezing in barefeet, but the video is all about summer, so summer it was. Filming has lots of stops and starts so there was plenty of time to think of things to add in. We grabbed some umbrellas and bashed out a little dance. Chaynsaw grabbed some hula hoops and shook his hot womanly form around. We all perfected our Booty Dance, and skipping like ladies.
Stallion got to work practicing saying 'I'd love to play twister with you' whilst regurgitating bits of pork pie (more difficult than it looks- you have to project the masticated food matter so it is visible without losing enunciation).
Needless to say our expertise in these matters is clearly demonstrated by the clock-work choreography so evident in the final video.
Several of us tried to copy Cap'n's cartwheel, and fell on our heads. Thankfully, however, cartwheels are for girls, and you won't catch me making a fool out of myself ponceing around!
With the final shot of Stallion and myself skipping joyously away (presumably to go and have sex somewhere) in the bag, it was time to shiver, get dressed, have a beer and let the post-traumatic shock of writhing around on a twister matt dressed as a woman on top of Stallion sink in.
Oh well, at least we're not sticking it on the internet, are we guys? Right guys?
Hooray! Thankyou Macro Ed (aka Love Tubes, aka Mr Ed). I am back now. Writing. Here. This is me again.
I should point out that Macro (aka Tubes, aka Mr) has omitted my own personal tragedy from this story. In the same way as the filming of the seminal feature film Apocalypse Now was dogged by madness and disaster, the long and demanding shoot for Twister involved my own personal view into the gaping maw of visceral torment.
That morning I had missed breakfast. Having woken in a B&B in Bath after the previous night's frivolities after the fantastic gig at Moles, I decided that I would forego a fry up in the interests of a slightly longer lie-in.
Everyone else returned to our room with gleeful tales of bacon, sausages and eggs, leaving me to rue my terrible decision for many subsequent hours, as I battled with starvation, struggling to remain conscious through the biting pangs of hunger gnawing away at my very soul like some kind of toothy hunger soul whale.
As I took my seat to film the Pork Pie related intro to the song, Cap'n Skippat withdrew a bag from his pocket, and unsheathed an object of great mystic beauty, much like King Arthur drawing Excalibur from the Stone, except less swordly, and more porky, for he had in his possession a PORK PIE!
Not just any pork pie either, but a specially hand-crafted pork pie of unbelievable deliciousness. In a hushed and awed silence, he reverentially passed me this hallowed object, this Pie Treasure, this Porky Grail. I sat, awaiting my cue to take a bite from him, almost unable to contain my excitement, my porky glee, overcome with the anticipation of heavenly bliss the pie would bring me when I sank my teeth into it.
Finally, FINALLY! I was able to take a bite from this pie, the object of my desire, and I was not disappointed. Oh No! I was not disappointed at all! Infact the sheer bliss, the porky nirvana, the transcendent pie joy I experienced was overwhelming. I nearly cried tears of porky joy.
But then..... BUT THEN......
A fateful thing occurred. For right next to me was a lake, of purest spring water, as clear as glass. I placed the glorious pie down upon a bucket, and we filmed the next line, which involved me bursting forth from my chair and running full pelt away. I burst forth as required, we all ran, but then... THEN....
As if in slow motion I saw a foot connect with the bucket. Almost as though it was in a bad dream, the pie, so flightless in normal life, as rooted to the ground as a dodo, slave to gravity as it is, flew aloft, propelled inexorably towards a watery doom.
I bellowed my rage to the heavens as I watched the pie of destiny splash down into the glassy clear waters of Cap'n Skiptickle's Lake.
I fell to my knees and waved my fists in defiance at the cruelty of the gods as the pie sank, like a porky titanic, to the floor of its aquatic tomb.
And that, dear friend, is the true tragic story of the filming of this video.
Anyway. In other news…
Everything's awfully exciting over here at the moment- lots and lots going on. We're busy making preparations for setting up Rathergood Records and getting the songs we want to put out recorded and everything - isn't it exciting?
I'm excited. I AM VERY VERY EXCITED!
Last weekend we did a photo shoot with the very talented Pete Cranston, and you can see the results here-
http://www.flickr.com/photos/joelveitch ... 526171111/
including us in longjohns. Oh yes ladies, this is a real treat.
In a completely unrelated thing and stuff, I was looking around on Wikipedia the other day, and noticed there are entries for me and the band. They are fine really, but I noticed they could do with a bit more detail, and I could never edit them myself as that would feel in some way weird and wrong. So, if any of you fancy having a crack at sorting out the Wikipedia entries on us, then here they are:
7 Seconds Of Love:
What else is new? Well, we've been talking to some people about getting a range of ninja baby wear together - seriously. They are going to be SO COOL. I think the lack of ninja costumes for babies has been a blight on our society for long enough and we are the people to fix it. I'll let you know when they are available. Hooray!
Oh look, I've been banging on for ages. I suppose I'd better stop now before you get too bored.
Hooray! I love you. I love you with all my heart, and also all the other bits. All of them, every last one.
Oh, and remember if you want to reply to this email don't just hit the reply button because it will just go to the newsletter robot and I won't see it and then the world will be a sadder place for all of us, so send email to firstname.lastname@example.org
Stallion Explosion (aka Joel)