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PostPosted: Thu Jun 22, 2006 1:00 pm 
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Has anybody heard anything about South Africa and canabalism recently? My friend was saying some minister said he wouldn't mind eating some people. South Africa's had some good news lately.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 22, 2006 6:47 pm 
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Possible Black Adder movie?

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 4:36 am 
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I'm dubious about a Blackadder flick, I'm worried that they've already put it to death with dodgy spin-offs after they finished 'Goes Forth'.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 24, 2006 6:20 am 
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I'm only aware of one 'spin-off,' Black Adder Back and Forth, which I liked a lot.
Sounds more like likely Black Adder movie if Atkinson/Elton/Fry agree.
Cool, man. 8)

...and now for something eerie (cue theramin: ooo-weee-oooo) ...
Man's Bottle Message Found After His Death
Thursday, June 22, 2006
ANTIGO, Wisconsin USA. - Years after casting a bottled-up note into a lake for a class project and just one year after his death, a man's childhood message has been found and returned to his mother.
Eleven years ago, a then 10-year-old Joshua Baker wrote the message nestled in an empty vanilla container, his mother, Maggie Holbrook said. He died last February following a motor vehicle accident in California. He had recently returned home after serving in the Middle East as a U.S. Marine.
"I think he was just letting us know he was OK and to keep doing what we are doing," Holbrook said.
The message surfaced in White Lake in late April, just days after the 11th anniversary of its casting. It was found by one of Baker's closest friends, Steve Lieder, of Antigo, she said. Lieder and two friends were chatting near the lake when they looked down and saw the bottle. They broke it open and found the note inside:
"My name is Josh Baker. I am 10. If you find this put it on the news. The date is 4/16/95."
They immediately took it to Holbrook, who said she is now having the note preserved and will display it in her home.
She can remember when her son wrote the message for the school project. She said she always wondered why they didn't put it in the nearby Wolf River, which has a much stronger current.
"I still remember the day he wrote it," Holbrook said. "I couldn't understand why they threw it in the lake. No one would ever see it again. Now I know."
---
Information from: Antigo Daily Journal, http://www.antigodailyjournal.com

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 24, 2006 3:21 pm 
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That's a cool story, Farswept.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 24, 2006 6:26 pm 
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Yeah, I love stuff like that.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 24, 2006 9:48 pm 
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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/a ... urce=&ct=5

Interracial babies! :D

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/a ... _a_source=

Dumb bint who Shamoo mentioned a couple days ago.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 12:13 pm 
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A snake with the ability to change its colour has been found in the rainforested heart of Borneo.

Researchers from Germany and the US discovered the water snake's chameleon-like behaviour by accident when they put it into a dark bucket.

Image

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/5118778.stm

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 1:30 pm 
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Off TheOnion...

Quote:
Is Anyone On This Bus Interested In Disciplining My Son?

By Maria Sturgess
June 21, 2006 | Issue 42•25

Image I can tell by your disapproving stares, hushed whispers, and looks of genuine concern that just about everyone on this crosstown bus thinks that they could do a better job raising my 4-year-old son—whom you will identify as the child leaning over the back of your seat throwing soggy Cheerios at you—and I completely agree. Someone needs to put an end to his unacceptable behavior, and I can assure you that person will not be me.

So please, if you want my son to sit still and shut up, consider this an open invitation to any or all of you to knock some sense into him.

I realize this proposition may seem irresponsible, but you must understand that I am a terrible parent whose interest in raising an obedient, well-behaved child has long since vanished, and the only way my son will ever be introduced to the basic concepts of rules, restrictions, and repercussions is through the teachings of one of the random strangers on this bus.

So, if you so desire, feel free to yank him by his shirt collar while he's running up and down the aisle, bend him over your knee, and do your worst. While I might not thank you directly, I will show my silent appreciation for your invaluable assistance by putting my tabloid down for a moment and staring blankly out the window.

I've tried to control my son in the past, but I clearly lack the most basic parenting skills and have perhaps done more damage than good throughout his young life, but I can tell you what definitely does not work: half-heartedly scolding him from across the bus, letting him run around and swing on the silver poles to get it out of his system, taking away his toys and immediately returning them on the condition that he behave, telling him to go talk to the bus driver, and, finally, completely ignoring him—my preferred method to this day.

Please don't feel you should be restricted to corporal punishment. I may be a disgracefully bad mother, but I am still open to any interpretation of child discipline, as long as it doesn't involve me taking any action whatsoever. You are more than welcome to try reasoning with him, strapping him to the seat next to yours and forbidding him to move, calmly explaining how to properly behave on a bus, or exiting the bus with me at our stop and dragging him by the ear all the way home to show that there are negative consequences of inappropriate behavior.

It's up to one of you to establish a set of boundaries for him.

Over the years, I've grown used to his incessant squirming and shouting, so if everyone else would like a calm, quiet ride the rest of the way, then I suggest one of you get up and do something about it.

I should also add that this offer is not restricted solely to other parents. If you have never interacted with a child in your adult life and are not sure whether you possess the instincts or ability to relate to a child, I assure you, you are still vastly more qualified than I am to dole out some tough love.

Not to overstep my bounds, but may I suggest one of you take away his Superball? I don't know if that is the way to handle it, and I certainly don't care to find out for myself, so just leave me out of it, because the first and last time I did that, he cried.

And, by all means, take your time to craft the perfect approach to handling this situation and instilling a sense of enduring responsibility in my son. Who knows, a brief encounter with just the right complete stranger could help undo my years of neglectful and incompetent parenting.

After all, he and I will both be on this very same bus with all of you tomorrow, the next day, and every day after that, and trust me, it will only get worse until one of you intervenes.



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PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 1:36 pm 
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Sorry for the double post - i thought this was amusing too...

Quote:
Baggage-Handling Mix-Up Sends Dirty Bomb To St. Louis
June 26, 2006 | Issue 42•26

NEW YORK—Even in the air-conditioned confines of New York's John F. Kennedy Airport back on June 14, Abu Basir Yousef was sweating.

Image
Enlarge Image
Terrorist Yousef waits in vain for his dirty bomb.

His sole piece of luggage—a black duffel bag—was lost upon his arrival in New York.

Despite hours of waiting, and several U.S. Airways check-in counter workers and Transportation Security Administration screeners joining in the search, the Yemen-born 32-year-old had yet to hear any positive updates. Finally, a baggage claim representative approached him.

"Afraid I've got some bad news," the worker said to Yousef.

Airline personnel had searched the plane, the tarmac, and the gate, but were still unable to locate his bag containing his homemade dirty bomb.

"My trip was ruined," Yousef said. "But Allah will right this wrong."

Most Americans have grown accustomed to inconvenience in the name of security, be it color-coded anxieties or metal detectors at public libraries. But al-Qaeda member Yousef lived a nightmare scenario that would cause even the most frequent of flyers to shudder.

After a cramped, twice-delayed U.S. Airways flight that he said would be "the last of my life," Yousef sat and stared for hours at an empty, rotating baggage carousel at JFK, searching in vain for his expensive and fragile cargo, unaware that it was currently being routed and re-routed around the country.

Over the next three days, it would arrive at virtually every major domestic destination—except for its intended one, New York—and eventually wind up among the Father's Day gifts and matching bags in Lambert-St. Louis International Airport.

According to U.S. Airways, the luggage lingered in St. Louis after an unscheduled side trip to Dallas, a short stint in Charlotte, NC and even a surprise UPS delivery to a suburban home in Michigan.

When informed that somebody had mistakenly taken his luggage home, opened it, and called the airline, who returned it—two days later—to Detroit's Metro Airport, Yousef could only shake his head.

"The U.S. truly is the Great Satan," he said.

His case is but one among thousands. In a busy summer season with multiple new security regulations, baggage blunders like this leave travelers like Yousef with no choice but to shrug and laugh at their all-too-common horror stories.

But the sheer number of unintentional side-trips taken by this particular radioactive weapon forced U.S. Airways' Vice President For Consumer Affairs Bryce Fox to admit that "baggage mishandling history" may have been made.

"We sincerely apologize to Mr. Yousef for sending his explosive device to St. Louis—eventually," Fox said, chuckling. "Had we paid a little more attention, we would have definitely known St. Louis was not this bomb's final destination. At least we can say that it was not damaged, or really even touched, by TSA staff."

By the 22nd, over a week since Yousef discovered his bomb was missing, the duffel bag finally reached JFK. Yet even an attempt to contact him at his Bronx home about its arrival proved a comedy of errors. A mispronunciation of Yousef's name in the baggage claim office resulted in the bag being returned to another traveler in the airport that day—air marshal Abe Joseph.

"I took one look inside and realized that somebody was probably pretty upset to be missing such a complicated piece of equipment," Joseph said. "I brought it to security, and they held me up for more than an hour with the thing, and when they finally passed it through, what did they do? They dropped it. Twice."

Added Joseph: "Welcome to New York."

It's hard to believe that one innocent-looking, dirty-bomb-holding black duffel bag could wreak so much havoc, an irony not lost on Yousef. "These infadels must die," he said.

U.S. Airways spokeswoman Deborah Shier once again apologized to Yousef and said that the airline had returned his bag via private courier back to his Bronx apartment on Thursday. "We sincerely appreciate his business, and hope he will consider U.S. Airways for future flights," Shier said. "I can assure him those flights will most likely go a lot smoother."

Yousef may have his luggage back safe, but nevertheless refuses to do business again with U.S. Airways, saying that he has "another important mission" to attend to on the West Coast—one where his bomb will, no doubt, be better treated.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2006 7:22 pm 
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Suicide Attempt caught on CCTV

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2006 11:02 pm 
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That's sick. I don't think I want to click on that.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 12:30 am 
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Notice it says "Suicide attempt caught" not "Suicide caught" . ;)

It's mainly about a really strange new law in South Korea that makes bugger all sense.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 12:45 am 
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Glass_Onion wrote:
Notice it says "Suicide attempt caught" not "Suicide caught" . ;)

Of course it does! Catching suicide would be like arresting murder, or going to war with terrorism. :roll:

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 12:51 am 
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The war on terrorism is good though! We all know that once we catch Bin Laden the threat will die out and the Freedom Eagle will reign supreme over all. :lol:

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 12:57 am 
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Glass_Onion wrote:
The war on terrorism is good though!

War on terrosism is impossible, grammatically speaking.

Terry Jones wrote:
How do you wage war on an abstract noun? It's rather like bombing murder.

http://www.commondreams.org/views02/0112-02.htm

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Last edited by Whatsit on Thu Jul 06, 2006 12:58 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 12:58 am 
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I was joking, hence the ":lol:". :wink:

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 1:01 am 
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still, read the page i linked, it's f-ing brilliant!

and so are these! (scroll down for more columns by Terry Jones)

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/comment/ ... 47,00.html

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 08, 2006 2:00 am 
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A serious one for a change;

The possible implications of this are a bit incredible;
http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2006/06/2 ... 02-ak-0000


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 18, 2006 5:39 pm 
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http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060718/od_nm/sponges_dc_1

Oh yes..time to get Anti Spong loss..:lol:

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 25, 2006 6:02 am 
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This is The Necromancer.
He calls forth the spirits of the dead.
Today, he calls forth the latest news.
Kinda ironic, huh?

Anyway...
No, That's Not a Penis Pump, Mom. Really
Thursday, August 24, 2006
CHICAGO - Cook County prosecutors say a 29-year-old man traveling with his mother desperately didn't want her to know he'd packed a sexual aid for their trip to Turkey.
So he told security it was a bomb, officials said.
Madin Azad Amin, 29, of Skokie, was stopped Aug. 16 at O'Hare International Airport after guards found an object in his baggage that resembled a grenade, prosecutors said.
When officers asked him to identify it, Amin said it was a bomb, said Cook County Assistant State's Attorney Lorraine Scaduto.
He later told officials he'd lied about the item because his mother was nearby and he didn't want her to hear that it was part of a penis pump, Scaduto said.
He's been charged with felony disorderly conduct, said Andrew Conklin, a spokesman with the Cook County state's attorney's office.
Amin's attorney told a Cook County judge Wednesday that Amin whispered that the component was a "pump." The guard misunderstood, and thought he said "bomb," according to defense attorney Eileen O'Neill-Burke.
"He told her it's a pump," O'Neill-Burke said. "He's standing with his mother. Of course he's not going to shout this out."
However, Judge Gerald Winiecki decided there was sufficient evidence for the case to move forward after the female security guard testified that she heard Amin "clearly" say the word bomb.
Amin is charged with felony disorderly conduct, which could bring a three-year prison sentence if he's convicted. Amin is due back in court Sept. 13
He told the Chicago Sun-Times after the hearing that security officials did not give him a chance to explain the misunderstanding, that he would never use the word "bomb" while going through a security checkpoint, and does not consider a penis pump an unusual object to own.
"It's normal," he said. "Half of America they use it."

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 25, 2006 12:12 pm 
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Pluto loses status as a planet

Astronomers have voted to strip Pluto of its status as a planet.

About 2,500 scientists meeting in Prague have adopted historic new guidelines that see the small, distant world demoted to a secondary category.

The researchers said Pluto failed to dominate its orbit around the Sun in the same way as the other planets.

The International Astronomical Union's (IAU) decision means textbooks will now have to describe a Solar System with just eight major planetary bodies.

Pluto, which was discovered in 1930 by the American Clyde Tombaugh, will be referred to as a "dwarf planet".

There is a recognition that the demotion is likely to upset the public, who have become accustomed to a particular view of the Solar System.

Teary-eyed

"I have a slight tear in my eye today, yes; but at the end of the day we have to describe the Solar System as it really is, not as we would like it to be," said Professor Iwan Williams, chair of the IAU panel that has been working over recent months to define the term "planet".

The need for a strict definition was deemed necessary after new telescope technologies began to reveal far-off objects that rivalled Pluto in size.

Without a new nomenclature, these discoveries raised the prospect that textbooks could soon be talking about 50 or more planets in the Solar System.

Amid dramatic scenes in the Czech capital which saw astronomers waving yellow ballot papers in the air, the IAU voted to block this possibility - and in the process took the historic decision to relegate Pluto.

The scientists agreed that for a celestial body to qualify as a planet:
it must be in orbit around the Sun
it must be large enough that it takes on a nearly round shape
it has cleared its orbit of other objects

Pluto was automatically disqualified because its highly elliptical orbit overlaps with that of Neptune. It will now join a new category of dwarf planets.

Icy reaches

Pluto's status has been contested for many years. It is further away and considerably smaller than the eight other "traditional" planets in our Solar System. At just 2,360km (1,467 miles) across, Pluto is smaller even than some moons in the Solar System.

Its orbit around the Sun is also highly tilted compared with the plane of the big planets.

In addition, since the early 1990s, astronomers have found several objects of comparable size to Pluto in an outer region of the Solar System called the Kuiper Belt.

Some astronomers have long argued that Pluto would be better categorised alongside this population of small, icy worlds.

The critical blow for Pluto came with the discovery three years ago of an object currently designated 2003 UB313. After being measured with the Hubble Space Telescope, it was shown to be some 3,000km (1,864 miles) in diameter: it is bigger than Pluto.

2003 UB313 will now join Pluto in the dwarf category, along with Pluto's major moon, Charon, and the biggest asteroid in the Solar System, Ceres.

Named after the god of the underworld in Roman mythology, Pluto orbits the Sun at an average distance of 5.9 billion kilometres (3.7 billion miles) taking 247.9 Earth years to complete a single circuit of the Sun.

An unmanned US spacecraft, New Horizons, is due to fly by Pluto and the Kuiper Belt in 2015.

Image

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 26, 2006 6:14 am 
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^Big news indeed, but you missed something...
Although astronomers applauded after the vote, Jocelyn Bell Burnell - a specialist in neutron stars from Northern Ireland who oversaw the proceedings - urged those who might be "quite disappointed" to look on the bright side.
"It could be argued that we are creating an umbrella called 'planet' under which the dwarf planets exist," she said, drawing laughter by waving a stuffed Pluto of Walt Disney fame beneath a real umbrella.
--AP

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 9:55 am 
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Woman Crashes When Teaching Dog to Drive
Monday, August 28, 2006
BEIJING - A woman in Hohhot, the capital of north China's Inner Mongolia region, crashed her car while giving her dog a driving lesson, the official Xinhua News Agency said Monday.
No injuries were reported although both vehicles were slightly damaged, it said.
The woman, identified only be her surname, Li, said her dog "was fond of crouching on the steering wheel and often watched her drive," according to Xinhua.
"She thought she would let the dog 'have a try' while she operated the accelerator and brake," the report said. "They did not make it far before crashing into an oncoming car."
Xinhua did not say what kind of dog or vehicles were involved but Li paid for repairs.

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Sorry, you can't have the internet... you're over 70

After walking the Great Wall of China and making plans for a trip to Russia, Shirley Greening-Jackson thought signing up for a new internet service would be a doddle.

But the young man behind the counter had other ideas. He said she was barred - because she was too old.

The 75-year-old would only be allowed to sign the forms for the Carphone Warehouse's TalkTalk phone and broadband package if she was accompanied by a younger member of her family who could explain the small print to her.

Mrs Greening-Jackson, who sits on the board of several charities, said: "I was absolutely furious. The young man said, 'Sorry, you're over 70. It's company policy. We don't sign anyone up who is over 70.'

"Later a young lady said company policy is that anyone over 70 might not understand the contract. She said, 'If you would be prepared to go to the shop in town and take a younger member of your family we might give you a contract.'

"I have just completed a visa form to go to Russia. Last year we did one for walking the Wall in China and here is this person saying I would not be able to understand a basic form - and it was basic. It is pure ageism.

"Somebody has decided when you turn 70 you lose a lot of your mind. I find this is ridiculous."

When her case came to light on Radio 4's You And Yours last week, Carphone Warehouse admitted it had adopted an over-70 rule.

But the firm insisted it was not a blanket policy and claimed the guidance was to protect the elderly. A spokeswoman said: "It is not our policy to refuse business from adult customers of any age group. However, we do ask our agents to use their discretion when dealing with older customers."

She added that the discretionary rule had been introduced in response to complaints that staff had mis-sold products last year.

Liberal Democrat MP Paul Burstow, who chairs the all-party parliamentary group on older people, described the practice as 'deeply offensive'.

He said: "It is nonsense to assume those over the age of 70 cannot understand this sort of package, especially with the huge explosion of 'silver surfers' using the net."

New laws next month will outlaw ageism in the workplace. But Help the Aged wants the rules extended to protect consumers. "We see companies putting in place arbitrary age rules all the time,' a spokeswoman said. "To deny people services because of their age is just crazy. There needs to be legislation to address this."

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