random fat girl that follows me around EVERYWHERE at school: none of us actually like you, and it's fucking obvious that you only hang around with us 'cause you fancy me. it's absolutely pathetic; either say something so i can reject you and make you feel as unnatractive and generally pathetic as you really are, or just fuck off.
random fat guy: we really don't like you, ok? just fuck off. you're even more sarcastic than me, and you don't even do it in a humorous way, it's just annoying, ok? you're also rediculousely annoying, you're just a waste of everyone's time, ok? (i actually said most of this to him a few weeks ago when i was completely pissed... but he didn't actually listen for some uknown reason...)
jim: as much as i love your moobies, you really need to lose some weight...
henry: you're a complete ass-hole at times... either shut up, calm down or fuck off.
the girl who i fancy the hell out of: you are absolutely perfect in every way. as much as i'd love to say "will you go out with me?" that sounds rediculousely fucking cliche, so it's a sentance i'd really like to avoid...
That rant was possibly the biggest turn on ever haha
Big Gay Martin - Shut the fuck up about Pete Doherty being a "poet", he is a JUNKIE! who's marrying a JUNKIE! Why don't you take the next natural step from masturbating over his picture to actually injecting heroin right into your penis as a personal homage. GOD! who gives a shit about lyrics in music, all you posing bastards claiming to like this band and that band because they're lyrically complex? WOOP DE F**KIN DO! I hate people looking down their nose at me because of music i like, as mixed as it may be - ITS JUST F**KING MUSIC. I wouldnt piss on pete doherty if he was on fire, i could find any number of drug addicts playing guitars in town and no-one makes a big deal about them.
Hot rugby guys girl pal - STOP TOUCHING HIM! YOU'RE RUINING THE FANTASY FOR EVERYONE!
The people selling the snapfax all over uni - I swear to our lord Sandra i will end up clotheslining you if you try and sell me one again.
And my last long winded effort
Snagglebeast - Last year when i first met you, i had no problems with you ( i ignored the fact you laugh like a dying warthog) and you seemingly didnt have a problem with me, even when my bro and your sis broke up. Then out of the blue you start ignoring me and word gets around that i'm supposedly bullying you! WTF? i've only ever carried on by calling you a lez and you done it back, and it was seemingly all in good homour. Then i worked out that you were jealous that i was getting friendly with your guy mates. SO WHAT??? As if that wasn't bad enough, when i pull you up about it you start calling me a fat lesbian and the ugliest person you ever seen!! Ladies and gentlemen i apologise for this, but this was the creature that was calling me ugly (ironically she was voted 2nd sexiest male in her year)
She may not seem that bad, but trust me she couldve been an extra in aliens.
Now snagglebeast, after i tore you a new arsehole your sister phoned my brother to tell me to back off and that she found you crying on the floor at home. I DIDN'T MEAN FOR IT TO GO THAT FAR, BUT GOD YOU WOULD FAN THE FLAMES! Oh aye, and stop telling people i'm "the beast",when that is part of your nickname. I would prefer "The abominable snow dyke" or "It".