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I understand that you think you're being kind to the world and the animals on it's surface by not eating them. But did you know, that your tofu chomping ways, are wiping out a species more endangered than the bluefin tuna, less interested in mating than the giant panda, and more stupid than a dodo.

It's a conspiracy that's been kept from us for quite some time, and when out for a walk in the woods yesterday, I came across a solitary wild tofu. I took a picture, just so I could show it to you.



The monsters at PETA are not bothered if we eat this bland, neutral tasting, uninteresting looking critter, they're more interested in saving the cute and tasty animals like bottlenose dolphin, red squirrel and snow leopard.

After doing some research I discovered that the legs and antennae of the lesser spotted wild tofu are pulled off, whilst the tofu is on it's back, alive, and dried out to be sold as vanilla pods. The tofu is then dispatched with a quick cut behind the eyes, which kills it instantly.

Naturally after seeing this wild tofu, I picked him up, and gave him a bath in soy sauce, star anise, ginger, galangal, bird eye chillis and lemongrass. I'm sure nature won't miss one single tofu

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Oh herro

This is a good question.

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I think all the tofos should be killed. Just look at the two perpendicular rows of grass it ate. It's clearly contributing to global warming. IT'S MELTING THE GLACIERS. They're conspiring to kill Al Gore. DEATH TO ALL TOFOS BY MASTICATION!!1!

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this is my signature and so is this and so is this and so is this and so is this and so is this and so is this and so is this and if you're still reading this you're a silly silly silly

And the resulting tofeces is recyclable.

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I wonder how much methane vegans/vegetarians generate...

(The real long-term issue is that meat requires a lot more water to farm than the equivalent weight of veg. When all the countries of the world are fighting over fresh water supplies, new methods of farming that use less water will be essential)

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I wrote a book...

That and vegetarians eat a lot of soy, which production causes the destruction of rainforests in Asia and South America.

(though soy beans are also used as cattle feed.. but let's not mention that for argument's sake)

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