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Lucy Rundle sent multiple questions:

Ms Rundle. Thankyou for you enquiries. Please find answers underneathly.

Where are all the baby pigeons?

This is a subject which has has been a matter of some contention, and caused a certain schism between, on the one hand, the main body of academic opinion, and on the other myself. The accepted academic "wisdom" would have it that one does not see baby pigeons because they remain in their nests, out of sight, until they have fully developed flight feathers and are able to enter the world, adult in appearance. I take issue with this patently absurd assertion, and have formulated my own, far more rationally justifiable theorem to explain their absence. I maintain that there is a far more sinister force at work here. Why, I ask you, do we never see any evidence not simply of baby pigeons, but of nests or eggs either? From whence do these hordes of omnipresent avians originate? There can be only one explanation.

For some time, I have been studying the theory that these bobbing-headed bastards are placed fully formed into the cities of man, in order to perform sinister surveillance activities. I have proof (too sensitive to be placed in the public domain) that pigeons are all infact radio-controlled, and contain tiny recorders in their brains. They wander up to you as you sit in the station, appearing innocent, yet infact broadcasting your actions to sinister and all-pervading forces that lurk in secret high-technology bunkers from whence they control every aspect of our daily lives.

There can be only one way to counter this menace. Kill them. KILL THEM ALL!

Why are Robin Reliants called thusly?

The vehicle we know today as the Robin Reliant has its origins in the Zulu Wars of the 19th Century. British Imperial troops on the plains of Isandlwana found themselves confronted by thousands of warriors (Shaka's Impi as they were known), whose assaults would be spearheaded, in the classic "Horns of the Buffalo" pincer manouever, with three-wheeled war charriots containing the bravest and most skilled of these indomitable warrior race. One young British army corporal, named Robin Horsemonden-Cunterblast, took detailed drawings of these swift and deadly vehicles which he brought back with him to the motherland at the end of the campaign. These drawings remained lost in an attic in Dewesbury until the 1970s, a century later, when they were discovered by a young engineer who applied the modern wonder of the internal combustion engine to this fearful chassis of doom.

The word Reliant is infact Zulu for "victory or death in glorious wars of conquest for the honour of the Great King Shaka" And so, one of the legends of 20th century motoring was born.

Where can I get school uniform from, and what is the best kind to get?

East of Eden Adult Products, just around the corner from my home (the Nepalese Cave of Ineffable Wisdom) has an interesting selection of uniforms which I am sure would look wonderful on you.

I trust that this has aided you on your quest for wisdom, and the understanding of the nature of Mind.

Pigeons, Robin Reliants, School Uniforms

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