Guru

FEAR THE CRAB!

The Guru

Previous Guruage: Stooge Gum Arse Rage; Blind Women..

Do I Know You?

Why Are You Writing To Me?

Why Work? Bears and Horses, Smells

Musical Hounds, Love.

Exam Tips

Train Times, Personal Hygiene

Germans, Christians, Old People, Bucks Fizz and more!

Bod, Chaz and Dave, Birds and more!

The Sky and The Moon Explained, Baby Fish

Just Because You're Paranoid... Women Who Want It, Persecution of the Virtuous

Crabapples

The Metaphysics of Playing Cards

Salmon Conundrum, Erection Evolution

Important Issues

Yet More Important Issues

Roommate Removal, Poupon Poser

How Long is a Piece of String?

Sad and Lonely asked: How long is a piece of string? There! I've been wondering that for years!!! Please help!!

Yours desperately!!

Sad and Lonely

Dear Sad and Lonely

A good question. In order to ascertain the answer to this question, we must perform a thought experiment. You can try and perform this experiment with an actual piece of string, but will probably cut your fingers.

Take a piece of string, and cut it in half. You now have two pieces of string, each half the length of the original. Now, cut one of the halves in half again. Cut one of the remainders into half, and this again, etc. The fact is, that no matter how many times you cut the string into half, you will never achieve a state where the length of the segment reaches zero.

So, eventually, you will have cut the string in half an infinite number of times, and hence you will have an infinite number of pieces of string which will all have a length above zero.

Obviously, any value above zero multiplied by infinity equals infinity, and hence through logical deduction we have proved that any piece of string is infinitely long.

I hope this clarifies the matter for you.

Regards

The Guru

Question Question

Robert Manuel of b3ta.com wrote: Dear Guru, What question should I be asking you?

Robert Manuel

Dear Mr Manuel

That one.

Regards

The Guru