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Guruage: Stooge Gum Arse Rage; Blind Women..
Do
I Know You?
Why
Are You Writing To Me?
Why
Work? Bears and Horses, Smells
Musical
Hounds, Love.
Exam
Tips
Train
Times, Personal Hygiene
Germans,
Christians, Old People, Bucks Fizz and more!
Bod,
Chaz and Dave, Birds and more!
The
Sky and The Moon Explained, Baby Fish
Just
Because You're Paranoid... Women Who Want It, Persecution of the Virtuous
Crabapples
The Metaphysics of Playing Cards
Salmon
Conundrum, Erection Evolution
Important
Issues
Yet
More Important Issues
Roommate
Removal, Poupon Poser
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Yet More Important Issues
Mr Manuel just keeps coming:
If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter? Only
if it dies. If it survives it becomes a stray cat.
Is it possible to be totally partial? There is only a partial totality
of this possibility.
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
No. They don't eat them because they are not human, but actually sinister
aliens with poisonous flesh. This accounts for their appearance and odd
behaviour.
Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their
stomach? "Butterflies in the stomach" is an inaccurate description of
what occurs when we are nervous. Medical tests have shown that when we
are very nervous, hormones which we release in our digestive tract awake
vast herds of otherwise dormant miniscule internal buffalo. It is their
migratory behaviour once awoken that causes the "butterflies" symptoms.
Once nervousness has ceased, production of the hormone "buffaloamine"
ceases and the miniscule buffalo fall asleep where they stand.
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? Vegetarians should eat animals,
period. Preferably live ones.
Shouldn't it be some things in moderation? No. It should be "All things
to dangerous excess"
There are 24 hours in a day, and 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? No.
The clock is based on beer, as is everything of any use in all societies
throughout time.
What color is a chameleon on a mirror? A chameleon on a mirror is the
colour of shit. Nobody knows the reason for this strange phenomenon.
What did we do before the Law of Gravity was passed? Levitate.
What do sheep count when they can't sleep? Llamas. They think of Llamas
as uber-sheep, and think about them most of the time.
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered
plants? Shoot it, and eat it with the endangered plants as a garnish.
What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free? There is no such thing as
a free lunch. If someone offers you lunch as a gift, you will actually
have to pay for it. The term "free gift" is employed to allay any fears
that this practice may spread to other commodities.
What is another word for thesaurus? The Thesaurus died out millions of
years ago. It was a distinct species, and there are hence no other correct
names for it.
What is the speed of dark? 25 mph.
What part of the monkey do you use a monkey wrench on? The head is best.
You can aim for the body, but it will require more blows.
What was the best thing before sliced bread? Bread.
What's another word for synonym? Mysnosnism. Not everyone understands
that though.
When people lose weight, where does it go? It's usually behind the sofa.
When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?
Sign makers do not strike. Their families are held hostage in dungeons
to ensure their loyalty.
When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? Purple, in my experience.
It's fun too. You should try it.
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Pigeons,
Robin Reliants, School Uniforms
Shrinking
Sperm
Crossing
the Road
Booze
Happiness
How
Long Is A Piece Of String, Question Question
Who
To Marry?
More
Important Issues
Surely
Not More Important issues
Particle
Physics Explained
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