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Flo wrote: Hello
Guru, I was told you might be able to answer my questions, who are you?
And also what can I do to pass my exams?
Dear Flo'
Thankyou for your enquiry. I am afraid that I cannot reveal my true identity.
I fear that exposure to the world's press would result in a flood of humanity
to my doorstep, and more importantly may lead to such an increase in the
level of consciousness of the masses that the current system may be overturned.
To show the blinding light of truth to a select few is to create a caste
of leaders who can see the true nature of the world and work towards a
better future. To enlighten the masses is to engender chaos, for who would
slave to keep the wheels of society turning if they could see the true
desperation of their plight? I do not want to be recorded in the annals
of history as the man who overturned industrial society on the cusp of
the new millennium.
The second part of your query is possibly too vague to answer effectively.
If you were to be more specific regarding the nature of the exams you
had to pass, this would enable me to provide you with a more definitive
response. However, there are certain general rules which can be applied
in order to maximise one's intellectual prowess in these situations. The
first and most serious error made by people studying under the current
educational system is to place too high a prioritisation on work.
The secret of mental agility is not to spend your time rote learning
large amounts of facts, but rather concentrate on your karmic energy flow.
There are many ways of maximising this flow, flo', but I have found that
an absolutely vital precursor to successful thought processes is to sit
cross-legged underneath a large pyramid. This will, as you are probably
aware, focus cosmic energies and increase your wellbeing and expand your
consciousness. You will, having spent some hours or days in calm thought
in such a position, be in a suitably mentally receptive state to begin
your exam preparations. Do not study the actual course texts which you
have been advised to read, for these are the tools of the oppressive brain-washing
establishment, and are not so much tools of education as tools of mental
engineering. Those who teach you these texts are themselves a part of
the system and are not to be trusted. Rather, ponder the deeper and more
abstract nature of the subject in general, attempting, through karmic
energy flow, to meld your consciousness seamlessly into the very nature
of this field of knowledge. When you have achieved such a state, which
should not take more than another day or two under the pyramid, you will
find that a full and very deep understanding of the subject in question
will dominate your mind-state, bringing with it the ability to sit in
the exam and simply record a stream of consciousness directly from the
subconscious part of your own mind, without ever having laid a finger
on a textbook, or having listened to a lecturer. This flow of consciousness,
when read back, will appear to the examiner to constitute a complete,
total and utter understanding and comprehension of the deepest aspects
of his field of expertise, far beyond that of even the best in the more
orthodox educational establishment.
You will be given a professorship and become rich.
I trust that this adequately addresses your conundrum, and urge you to
act on my advice.
Yours
Veitch (Guruic Overseer and Sage)
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