|
 Previous
Guruage: Stooge Gum Arse Rage; Blind Women..
Do
I Know You?
Why
Are You Writing To Me?
Why
Work? Bears and Horses, Smells
Musical
Hounds, Love.
Exam
Tips
Train
Times, Personal Hygiene
Germans,
Christians, Old People, Bucks Fizz and more!
Bod,
Chaz and Dave, Birds and more!
The
Sky and The Moon Explained, Baby Fish
Just
Because You're Paranoid... Women Who Want It, Persecution of the Virtuous
Crabapples
The Metaphysics of Playing Cards
Salmon
Conundrum, Erection Evolution
Important
Issues
Yet
More Important Issues
Roommate
Removal, Poupon Poser
|
Hywel Davis submitted
several queries:
Dear Mr Davis I will insert my answers under the questions you have posed,
for ease of reference. Hywel Davis wrote:
Why do old people always smell of cabbage?
They do not always smell of cabbage. They sometimes smell of piss instead.
Why do middle-aged women always dance to 'Making your mind up' by Bucks
Fizz?
I refer you to The Lancet Feb 1998, p.34, where professor Anne Thracks
identifies this behaviour as a classic symptom of Oestrogen deficiency
brought about by the menopause and remediable with HRT.
Why do badgers scuttle rather than run? This keeps them low to the ground,
improving their aerodynamic efficiency.
What's the difference between a cob and a bun?
Any bread roll with a circumference of less than 57.6mm is a cob. Greater
than this, and it will be classified to be a bun. This is one of the greatest
triumphs of Euro-legislation.
Why are all Germans dull, efficient, war-mongering bastards?
This is due to a chemical found in Bratwurst which causes the user to
mimic the behaviour of termites.
Why do all women love it up 'em?
They just do.
Why isn't there an international Connect 4 league?
This is due to inconsistencies between nations in application of the
off-side rule.
Why do single mums deserve everything they get?
Have you got two mums? Do you know anyone with two or more mums? What
a ridiculous question.
Why do Christians have shiny eyes?
This is due because they are always weeping as they are so ugly, or at
least this is the case for Christian Goodbrand. (Apologies to any respondents
who do not know Christian- suffice it to say that he is not an attractive
man).
Why do camels hate being shaved with a rusty penknife?
Camels love being shaved in this manner. What you take to be cries of
distress are actually moans of Dromedarian ecstasy.
Why do fat men wear double-breasted suits?
This is because they have two breasts.
What's so fucking mysterious about the way God moves?
Have you ever seen him move? Do you know anyone who has ever even described
his movements? That sounds pretty mysterious to me.
Why bother reading these pointless questions?
What's the alternative? Working for a living?
This should keep your eratic bug-eyed mind at work for an entire afternoon.
All questions cleared within 10 minutes, actually, you Welsh slag.
I hope that this clarifies your perception of the nature of the world.
Veitch
|
Pigeons,
Robin Reliants, School Uniforms
Shrinking
Sperm
Crossing
the Road
Booze
Happiness
How
Long Is A Piece Of String, Question Question
Who
To Marry?
More
Important Issues
Surely
Not More Important issues
Particle
Physics Explained
|
