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Guruage: Stooge Gum Arse Rage; Blind Women..
Do
I Know You?
Why
Are You Writing To Me?
Why
Work? Bears and Horses, Smells
Musical
Hounds, Love.
Exam
Tips
Train
Times, Personal Hygiene
Germans,
Christians, Old People, Bucks Fizz and more!
Bod,
Chaz and Dave, Birds and more!
The
Sky and The Moon Explained, Baby Fish
Just
Because You're Paranoid... Women Who Want It, Persecution of the Virtuous
Crabapples
The Metaphysics of Playing Cards
Salmon
Conundrum, Erection Evolution
Important
Issues
Yet
More Important Issues
Roommate
Removal, Poupon Poser
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The Sky and The Moon Explained
Tim Price wrote: Am I correct to assume that the sky is blue because
it reflects the colour of the sea??
Mr Price
You are correct to assume that the sky is a big mirror reflecting the
sea. This mirror is made of extremely highly polished steel, and forms
a complete external globe, supported by enormous stilts hidden somewhere
in the Pacific. There are small holes in the steel globe through which
at night the blinding light of the mysterious beyond is seen to shine.
These are known as stars. This is why it is foolhardy and headstrong for
man ever to dream of conquering the skies or the heavens, for at an altitude
of approximately 2000 feet, he will crash into the mirror.
The sun is a small yet infinitely strong goose, with its tail aflame
in an eternally burning inferno, flying around the earth just under the
surface of the mirror for all eternity.
The moon is, as you know, a large piece of cheese carried by a horde
of levitating mice.
Fear the scientists who will lead us to our doom. We must stamp out their
heretical activities now, before it is too late. Ready the stakes, roll
out the kerosene, for tonight we barbecue the unbelievers!
Baby Fish
Kerina Brooke wrote: Guru, For as many years as I can remember I have
asked people this same question and no one has been able to offer me an
answer.
What are baby fish called if not fishlets? Hope you can help.
Kerina
Dear Kerina
Thankyou for your question. There are, as you know, two major families
of fish.
The young of the bony fish (the majority of species) are correctly known
as Puppies.
The young of fish of the shark family, which have a cartilage skeleton,
are correctly known as Goslings.
I hope you now feel suitable enlightened.
Regards
The Guru
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Pigeons,
Robin Reliants, School Uniforms
Shrinking
Sperm
Crossing
the Road
Booze
Happiness
How
Long Is A Piece Of String, Question Question
Who
To Marry?
More
Important Issues
Surely
Not More Important issues
Particle
Physics Explained
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