New Foods Breakthrough, Survival Food

Levitation

Clothing Breakthrough, Hat Magic

Trainer Liberator, Pet Innovation

Aircrew Safety Revolution

Meaty Memory Enhancement Breakthrough

Pharmacy Now, Beef, Abilities, grub

Road Rage No More, Dead / Wash Breakthrough, Security Issues Addressed

Pet Revolution, Odours Beaten, Fight Food, Turtles

I have developed a revolution in air crew safety. The current state of the art re escaping a plummeting aircraft involves either ejecting or leaping from the stricken craft, and floating to the ground using a parachute. This is a highly cumbersome escape method, and can cause problems when escape is necessary over water.

Using advanced surgical techniques and high-technology materials developed in my bedroom, I have perfected a method of removing the top part of the head, and replacing the skin and bone with highly elastic and lightweight composites.

A pressurised helium canister can then be implanted in the sinus cavity, along with an automated radio distress beacon.

Should the aircraft explode into a blazing fireball, or the wings falloff, the aircrew would leap from the plane as normal. However, it would not be necessary for them to don a cumbersome and unfashionable parachute.

While plummeting towards the earth, the airman would slap himself firmly in the forehead. This would fire the pressurised helium container, which would inflate the elastic composites with which his upper skull has been replaced to the size of a smallish dirigible. The airman will now float in the air, suspended from his inflatable head, in total comfort.

The radio beacon will be activated automatically, and summon a rescue helicopter to the scene. This will then tether the levitating aviator, and tow him back to safety and a warm cup of tea. I am going to be very rich on the back of this one. It's a winner.