Karma, Revelation

Watched Pots, Bolting Horses, Last Laugh

Milving, Sports Car, Big Rock

Popular Parlance

Otter Attack! Crime and Punishment

Kiwi Conundrum, Teepees, Navigation

Amphibian Emperor

Education, Ozones

In the small village where I grew up, we used to have an extremely popular sport which every male in the village would play at every spare moment. This sport involved placing a live beatle in a bucket of milk, and delving into it until the beatle was recovered, using a pair of extremely long (3 metre) tweezers. This was known as milk-delving, shortened to milving. The practitioners of this ancient art are known as milvers. The village was blown down in a storm one night many years ago, and so the people have spread to the four winds, all terribly homesick and missing a good bit of milving. They gather wherever a crowd congregates throughout the world (from civil unrest / riots to sales at the major department stores) in search of someone with whom to milve.

Proof positive that every crowd has a milver pining.

THANK THE ALMIGHTY JEHOVAH, FOR ONCE A NON-FALLACIOUS PIECE OF FOLK-WISDOM! THE FRUIT OF THE LOINS OF THE EARTH GODDESS CAN NOW LIVE AS ONE IN HARMONY!!

Scurvy Gum from Birmingham

Last week I won a million pounds on the lottery. I spent it on a brand new German sports car, and took it down to Mogadishu, where there was a lot of unpleasant slaughtering of innocent people going on. When I got there, I noticed that one of the optional extras I had got with the car, a large sink in the parcel shelf, had an uneven surface. The only suitable texturing implement to hand was a rake. However, when I tried to use the rake on the sink it had no purchase on the smooth enamel surface. When I pushed harder, the sink shattered.

Proof that you can take a Porsche to slaughter, but you can't rake its sink.

Rollerblade Serenade

I used to live near a large complex of docks. When I went down to the docks I would often find that I was harassed by a large sentient and aggressive mound of rock from Dartmoor. This tor became so aggressive that eventually I had to find a way of forcing it to submit to my will, thereby pacifying it. In order to keep it at bay, I found the only thing I could do was to climb it and stand at its peak. It was too steep for me to be able to do this without specialist equipment, and so I purchased a grappling hook in order to facilitate my mountaineering exploits. Now, every day, I go down to the docks with my grappling hook and climb the malevolent tor. Since I started this daily routine, it has never once caused me any trouble.

Proof positive, if it were needed, that a grapple a day keeps the dock-tor at bay.

BRAVISSIMO!!!